What we talk about (All of these topics are 'safe' and continue the good interactions we have)
His work, My work (including amusing stories from the office) Football, Family TV, His hobbies, My hobbies Books, Food Our friends, His friends, My friends Interesting things I've done (eg the proms, films I've seen etc.)
Things we don't talk about (I've tried and got nothing/bad results)
What he does at weekends OW and his R with her
Things that work
Contacting him lightheartedly Being friendly Responding to him reasonably quickly Sticking to safe topics (see above) Him seeing me in groups with other people Being supportive and complimenting his manliness Having a lot of GAL to talk about Wearing a push-up bra Never mentioning OW Suggesting meeting up
Things that don't work
Withdrawing attention any more than dim Asking him questions about OW Asking him questions about his plans Anything even vaguely serious as a conversation topic
Things that sometimes work (and sometimes don't)
Compliments Spontaneous invites out Initiating physical contact Talking about naughty topics Mentioning compliments other men have paid me Asking him for help with things
Things I could try
Calling him on the phone in the evening (I don't in case OW is there) Asking him for more help with things (? tried this a couple of weeks ago and got nothing!) Initiating physical contact more (eg kissing him on the lips) Other things are more anti-DB in the sense that I've tried them in one form or another but have never gotten results, so they're not solution focussed (eg going dark, ultimatums, confronting him, calling him on bad behaviour)
He's a tough nut, my H! Given it's MLC I think there's an element of him working through things in his head, and also of not being emotionally available until he can get rid of the aubergine. Probably the best thing I should do is to keep up the compliments/validating/making him feel manly, and try to reduce his guilt.
Having said that, I'm not going to initiate contact this week; I'll leave him to do it as he didn't reply to my last e-mail, and I also sent the last text message. It's definitely his 'turn'. Also he may need cave time since the last couple of times we've met there's been 'big eyes' at least part of the time. One can only hope he was reminded in doing that that he loves me!!!!
