Thanks ITH. Sometimes it is hard to see the positives, but you are not the only person to put my situation in that perspective.
I don't plan on mentioning the D word again. I see that it only does put him in a corner. I feel like he would have done it by now. Since we live far apart right now, we have both agreed to legally document our separation to protect us both. He has said a few times, if he just wanted to get a D he would and save the money of the legal separation. He even mentioned this referring to a friend who is in a similar situation.
I don't want to do anything right now. My gut says to maintain the status quo. Sometimes I fear he will call up and finally say he wants a D, but I truly believe he won't do it. He seems OK with how things are right now. We have too much going on to even worry about that.
I do sometimes see glimpses of the man I married. But most of the time, I don't. What you say makes great sense and lines up with how my husband acts. I guess I wonder if he will ever emerge from this.
I have backed off and he is starting to reach out in different ways. He is showing he is thinking of us, and I am subtly trying to do the same.
