Close encounters of the MLC kind

[BeingMe]

Hi Hmama! Sorry you're having an emotional weekend. These times come and go, 'eh!

Reading through your post, I get the feeling that you had certain expectations from your H, that he was unable to meet, or unwilling. Perhaps, he is being his authentic self, and you weren't? Or, is it possible that, ultimately, you were both too different to sustain the M unless there was some serious work from both of you?

Who knows what makes a person leave their M, instead of fight for it? Even the ones who should know better. You both had your parts to play, and his is more dramatic, and hurtful. But, you seemed to be the passive one, who did not stand for yourself, and your needs. This is where I wonder if you were both too different. Perhaps he needed someone who was more dramatic, more willing to hurt him if her needs weren't met. Or, if he was more passive, and a homebody that didn't have too many friends either.

I do get the feeling, though, that you come across in RL as beige, but under the surface, and in your heart, you are a raging red. You are not a shrinking violet in your writings, but seemed to be so in your M. It's almost as if you are afraid to present your real self to the real world, but you can here?

I may be way off base here, and if I am, I apologize profusely. Just, I do get a sense of some of this when I read your posts.

I was a bit like this myself, but I decided awhile ago, that life is too damn short to cow-tow to others, that I have a voice that can and should be heard, like anyone else. And, I will fight for what is mine and not just throw it away ... and that includes fairness in monetary issues. Still, I allow my H to get away with way too much, but he has improved a lot. But, I am being me (or, at least, trying), for better or worse.

Hope your week goes well. Take care.