I don't know who that man is behind the curtain 2

[job]

NTM,
I sense from Mrs. H's posting that the lawyer doesn't want to deal with the "nitty gritty", i.e., petty things and continue to run up her bill. He is very much aware that she is not working, trying to go to school and for once, someone isn't trying to take her to the cleaners. I also sense that he feels that constantly going before the judge/court, it's going to get to the point that the judge is going to toss out Mrs. H's complaints, i.e., will look at her as calling wolf far too many times.

I know that the lawyers in my area have advised spouses who are going through divorce, that once the separation/divorce are in place, unless there is harm or blatant excuses or bodily harm, abuse, etc., for not doing something, they will not take it to court. In fact, unless it's to change custody arrangements, expenses, etc., they don't want to be bothered with this type of stuff. They feel that their job is done and you, the client, need to work this out for yourself. I'm not making excuses for the judicial system, but I get the sense that this may be the case. I've been around enough legal eagles to know that they don't want to devote their time to playing referees in such matters.

What would work better in her favor is to document everything. Keep a good log and when you need to meet with the lawyer and/or the judge, have the documentation readily available in black and white. This will hold more credibility with the legal eagles then calling them up every time something happens that you don't like or can't control.

Eventually, if this continues, the lawyers and the judge may make it mandatory that they both seek counseling for themselves and their children. This is not a good environment for the children to be in with the heated discussions, him holding the child so tightly, his late night phone calls, accusations and the behavior at the school and at the bus stop.

It's just my take on the situation as it appears to be escalating with JA. It's very important that Mrs. H document everything, time date, incident and witnesses to the incident. Some day, she may need this documentation.