We have been going to C and I've been going to IC but they are NOT helping. I think they are making it worse. The C for us is focusing on his poor pitiful life and what caused him to cheat and there has been no talk about him taking responsibility and very little about how to make amends or whatever needs to be done to make our R work. Not to mention the incredible financial drain this has been. I've decided to dump my IC maybe I will find a different one. Last time I saw her I asked for guidance and help and she said, and I quote "Oh no I'm just here to listen" WTF! ! My friends listen for FREE. I'm reading "Divorce Remedy" again and think that will help a lot more now.
Yeah, limbo sucks!!! What's helped me is I'm just focused on living a great life with the kids and moving on, and not really worrying (too much) about whether H will join me or not. I'll be fine. I'm mentally trying not to be in limbo, even though I am in limbo I guess.
Yeah, your Cs sound not very good. You need an MC that's more solution-oriented. Yeah, you can figure out all the crap about your childhood (everyone's had a rough one in some way I think) but what does that help? Nothing. I find my C does discuss options with me and offers advice, but she doesn't say you should do this or that which isn't good. I also find that most of the advice she gives me is the same advice I get here at DB!!! So I think that's another sign she's good!
I also think some Cs help you and some don't. Not even so much if they are good or not, but just their personality or whatever. H and I went to a MC that I HATED! He was kind of military style and let H get away with his crap, and I thought he was terrible. But H liked him and saw him after, and I switched to a C that is sweet and nice and more DB style and that was the right C for me. So I think it is def. valid to switch if you haven't found the right one yet.
