I'm sorry I can't tell you how to do it. All I can do is offer my support, and provide testimony that it is possible.
Frank,
This really doesn't have to tie into any abandonment issues from your childhood. That's probably something that will stay with you for the rest of your life in some form or another. These events are unrelated and unlike your experience from childhood, it's more likely a positive result will take place if your willing to "let her go".
Poohbear is correct. It does get better and half the battle is just believing that it will. Don't wait around for it to happen "some day". Make it happen by believing it has already.
How do you "get there"? You just do, because the alternative (constant anxiety, depression, self pity, anger, and despair) is unacceptable. You won't last long physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually in that state of being. Don't let the dark force behind those emotions defeat you.
Don't be your own judge and executioner Frank. It's only a damn state of mind. It's not what the reality is. Reality is you can be enjoying a much improved quality of life if your just willing to pursue it.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
