Frank, You will see that as soon as you stop watching her every move and you begin to take the focus off of her, things will begin to change for you.
As soon as I began to do things for "me" and began to enjoy my life without wondering about my Husband's every move or thought, things began to happen.
I honestly don't know exactly when the changes began, but I do believe that when I truly "let go" I felt a huge relief.
My posts were about me, not what my Husband was doing or saying. I began to do projects around the house, and paint rooms in colors that made me happy. I began to grow as a person, and stopped being "stuck".
Yes, I still had moments of sadness when I wanted things to just be normal again, but the intensity of the sadness was different, I could actually breathe again and the crying stopped.
BREATHE!!!
Sending hugs ((((hugs))))
Thanks BND. Have a lot of anxiety today but it will pass. I really do think that if I can avoid interactions with her I'll do better.
It's the times I do see her when she smiles at me with what looks like her 'happy to see me' smile. It kills me because I believe it.
I'm also doing my best to look ahead, to visualize how I want life to be - for me - without her being a factor in it.
