Thanks IAL. It's still tough. I was sitting at the doughnut store with my girls and then I noticed that the music playing is Sheryl Crow singing The First Cut is the Deepest. I had to step outside for a minute.
JOURNALING: By her texts, my W is fully in the throws of love with OM1 and he with her. Morons.
Yeah, sitting around the table this morning seeing the kids happy makes me want to hope and then when I remember, well, the nicest thing that I can say is that I want to eject. I'm not ironman.
Some days more than others, I have a real tough time dealing with the thought of divorce where a lot of my pain will lessen while the kids' will increase. Then, I think that if only I were stronger or could endure more, then I could spare them. But, in truth, I don't think that this is born out of an honest desire to spare my kids the pain and tumult of a divorce. It could just be a guilt thing. It would probably be easier if the divorce was going to make me miserable too, but, it's not going to make me more miserable and will probably in some ways make my life much better than it's been.
