I think you are right, I am more frustrated because we had made so much progress so fast after a month of not really talking and being truly separated. So I figured that we would just keep going up and that would be it, it would only take us a few months because we are young and have only been married for a couple of years. However maybe it is harder because we are young. Who knows.
I am feeling a little better today, I talked to my best friend and she always makes me feel calmer since I can just vent and get it all out there. The people in Petco probably didn't care too much. . .hehe.
I know I have said it before but I just need to get on with my life as if I am not going to have him in it. Then I will feel more stable and secure and will not be quite as affected by his moods and actions as I am now. I do not want to work two jobs, truth be told I don't even want the one, but I don't see another way out at the moment. I got stuck with our credit card debt because I kept the furniture and the laptop (which was mine in the first place) Currently I pay nearly $100 a month just to store my stuff. I can find a decent apartment here for around $650 a month so I need to make around $1800 a month to be able to cover my expenses. The really frustrating thing is that my current job is so unstable, one week I'll have full time hours and the next week I will have 12 hours. It's sooo hard to depend on but I have only been there 6 months and my resume is shot to pieces because I have had sooo many jobs since getting married. I have 5 W2 forms last year at tax time. Ugh. So far this year I have only had two. Moral of the story is I need to keep my current job for awhile longer until I can find something else to cover the bills.
On the plus side when I get a second job I will have even less time to think about hubby and everything but there will also be less time to spend together, should he decide he wants to again in the future. . .but maybe that would be something to help him make the decision to move in with me, to help me with my bills, Once he gets a job anyways. I was reading in Mars/Venus that men need to feel needed but not feel neediness. Kinda a fine line. I don't think my hubby feels that I need him. In fact he has said that before. I can say, flat out, that I do need him but he doesn't seem to get it. When we go without contact he thinks I am doing fine without him. I don't know what to do about this because I am supposed to make him think I am fine without him, according to DB but then I got Mars/Venus saying he needs to feel needed. Oy!
Sorry that probably seemed like rambling. I am just crazy mixed up today.
