I know this was really tough on you. But only you can know when enough is enough. We're always here for you, please remember that.
I was thinking about your H refusing to let OW go -- predictably he is throwing the wrongful dismissal card out there. While that might be a legitimate concern, we all know there are ways to let someone go, short of an outright dismissal. Some methodologies I have become quite familiar with (being on the receiving end). H could, for example, hire someone else for her position and demote OW to another lesser role. That alone would send the right signal to OW that it was past time for her to move on. I know it can be difficult to overcome inertia, but the fact that your H was not willing to come up with any "creative" means of encouraging OW to leave tells me he hasn't quite been sincere. Not really.
He needs to wake up and realize that he needs to set the priorities in his life, and to get straight in his mind those things in life that are most important. Life is too short to be wrapped up in one's own selfishness.
