One Last Pull for this Knot to Break

[sleeper]

Here's a thought......

For months when x and I discussed the d she accused my L of "stalling". This would occur during some rant driven by a concern of hers.

Almost exactly 1 month ago her L recieved everything needed from me as we came to an agreement and I supplied everything necessary for the FS to be brought to a close.

So what is the holdup now? The parinoid part of me says she is having second thoughts about the agreement we reached. Another part of me wonders if she is afraid of completely letting go of any control she feels she still has over me.

I have said nothing to her about this although pushing for the FS to be over would be a 180 for me.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." Rhett Butler

[sleeper]

Ok here's some weird stuff and some funny stuff.......

X showed up at church today without OM. She sat at the back but about halfway through the service came over and sat with me, DD and DS. It was really weird as that was a situation that hasn't happened in over 2 years.

After the service we all walked out together. I asked DS to stop and let me get in front of X as we walked down a flight of stairs because she was wearing suicide heels and if she had fallen I couldn't break her fall from behind. X commented that the heels were "very comfortable". After we walked X to her car I requested she give me and the kids a ride to our car. She did.

As I was driving away with kids I turned on my phone and noticed I had 5 missed calls and 2 new messages. They were all from X asking where we were, were we at church yet, etc. I had turned my phone off when the service began. X arrived late (some things never change and never will).

Later in the evening X called EXACTLY at the time we have agreed upon for kidswap (a first). DS answered the phone. I heard him tell X he was playing a game with DD and wasn't ready to come home. He also said, "Dad's house is more fun than yours" and immediately hung up on X. It was all I could do to not laugh aloud. About 45 seconds later X called again. This time I answered. She asked when she could get the kids and we went back and forth saying, "I'll bring them to you, no I'll come get them", etc. I finally established that I would bring them to her as I had to go somewhere anyway.

When the kids and I finally left the house I called X to let her know we were coming. She asked where I was going after I brought kids to her. I told her the grocery store. She then said she would meet us at a store but I told her I was almost at her house.

When we got to her house, OM was there and there was a family pic down off the wall (one with me in it). I asked her if I could have the frame. She told me "I want to keep it, I'm going to hang it back up, I was only looking at something in the picture." I spoke to OM and then X and I discussed something that was wrong with her car as if he wasn't in the room.

She was all smiley toward me and complimented me on the t-shirt and jeans I was wearing (she's seen them both before). Next time I gotta remember to whisper something in her ear in front of him. The day of the week would do just fine.

I got out of there as quickly as I could.

[sleeper]

Interesting day.....

X called this afternoon. My cell was off as is the policy where I work but I had just been given an unscheduled break and checked it. I had missed X's call by about three minutes so I returned her call. "Thank goodness you called, how did you know I was trying to reach you?", she asked. "One of us has ESP", I answered. I gave up trying to convince her we're still connected a long time ago.

She went on to tell me there is a house for rent just around the corner from hers and she wanted to know how much the rent is for my apt. After some discussion I gracefully bowed out but commented how sweet it was that she wanted the kids close to her.

While she was talking to me she was yelling at OM's dog, complaining that it won't behave and how much trouble she is having with her. I said, "Dog sitting again?" "Yep", she blurted.

We talked about shuttling the kids to their after school activities today and said our goodbyes.

Later this afternoon she called and asked if I could keep the kids this evening for a bit so she could workout. She then asked, "Am I fat?" "No" I said. I continued telling her she is not fat at all and that I was admiring her legs when she sat with the kids and me in church Sunday. "Why do you think you're fat?" I asked. She said "Someone told me I'm plump." "No, you're not." I responded.

Later when I took the kids to her house something funny happened. Her cell rang just as we got there and she wasn't answering it. "Your phone is ringing", I said, as it was on vibrate and I thought she might not have heard it buzzing. "I know", she responded, "but I'm not jumping for anyone or anything anymore." she continued. A few monents later the landline rang and she also ignored it even though DD brought it to her attention.

I said my goodbyes to the kids and headed for the door. As I walked through the kitchen I heard a horrible noise in the dining room and ran in to investigate. OM's dog had one of the kittens (one of three X can't handle but hasn't gotten rid of yet) in her mouth, pinned to the floor and was basically crushing it in preparation to consuming it. I grabbed OM's dog (a husky) by the scruff of the neck and rescued the kitten from her mouth. X ran into the room and asked of the kitten was alright. She then attempted to take OM's dog to her bedroom but OM's dog wasn't complying. She asked me to remove the dog and left the room. I took OM's dog by the neck again and drug her to to the bedroom, ("It's an animal thing" Riddick) shutting the door. I then returned to the dining room to see if the kitten was OK. Kitten didn't want to have nothing to do with nobody. It jumped into the air and landed on claws only (weird sound on hardwood floors) when I approached it. Can't blame it for the attitude as the husky outweighs it about 200 to 1.

I left.

[Dawn of Hope]

Sleeper,
Please, send me those kittens! (I am a total cat lover!) Or at least do what you can to see that the kittens are taken care of properly and not endangered by large dogs. I am so glad you were able to rescue the kitten, and hope he/she is okay!

Sorry...I have often been accused of liking cats better than I like people, and there is a certain amount of truth to that. I hope you are doing well today. Love the whispering in the ear thing!

Peace,
Dawn

[sleeper]

I need some help.

I'm a little miffed at x tonight. She has our kids this week and DD had a school play tonight. She called me this afternoon because her child care fell through and she was working. I went and got the kids from her and took them to DD's play. X didn't know what time she would be finished with work but she reminded me a couple of days ago that DD's play was tonight. Why didn't she schedule her work so she would be off?

When the play was over I called X to see if she was still working and arrange getting the kids back to her. She had left work, but instead of comming to DD's play (albeit probally late) she went to a girlfriend's house to comfort her as she was upset. When I called x was surprised the play ended so quickly so she must have thought it had not ended yet.

I said nothing to x but I'm considering texting her a question to the effect of why didn't she come to DD's play when she left work.

X is ADD but the more I think about the more upset I'm getting.

There is a sitter at the house now and she is who knows where. Prehaps she has cycled back to having no regard for anyone but herself, not even her children.

[sleeper]

So I saw X today (kids).

There's a new girl at her work and I asked what her name was, told X I think she's "hot." X did this wierd little shudder and shaking of her head she does every time me dating is mentioned. I don't get it. She told me the girl's name, and that she is dating someone but X doesn't think he's "the one." X then walked into the other room to ask said girl how old she is and tell her, "my X thinks you're hot." When she returned I almost told X that was rather juvenile of her but I didn't.

She asked me to do something and I told her OM could do it much better than I. That didn't shock her like I thought it would. Because of these two comments by me X commented that I was being "cocky."

Before I left I asked why she didn't come to DD's play after work the other night, that DD was disappointed. She looked surprised and caught a little off guard and said it was because it was too late when she got off and made a comment about me not making DD's play last year (during the middle of the day unlike at night this year). I didn't say any more as I felt the point had been made.

I think I need to be "cocky" more often. It felt good, it would be a 180, and lastly (very lastly) X noticed.

[forward]

Good, sleeper. You're getting her attention, I think. She's still taking you very much for granted, though.

Why do you think she is attracted to OM?

[sleeper]

She called a few minutes ago to get kids.

OM was perfect for an mlc (if that's what this was). He is younger than me, was in much better shape, no kids, freshly divorced (horney and looking for fun) a pilot and considered by X to be a "great guy."

She probably does take me for granted. She's got it pretty good right now (cake eating). I needed to prove myself to her and I have. However I was angry for a long time and she still thinks I'm angry when I'm not, happened again this AM. She sees me as a friend and can talk with me about anything. There are some things she doesn't feel comfortable talking to OM about as she has actually commented, "You're the only person I can talk with about this."

When she called she said she talked to new girl about fixing us up on a date. New girl said that would be weird cause they work together and I'm her X. X said she told new girl I'm a really nice guy and it would be OK. Weird.

What is weirder is if she fixes us up I'm going.

[frank_D]

What is weirder is if she fixes us up I'm going.

I think that would be great. You might have fun. I think I should ask my W if she knows any single women who are available. Problem is they'd probably all be foo foo new age spiritual nutcases.

[sleeper]

Ok so I guess I am cockey today.

X called this afternoon about ten minutes before she said she could take kids back. She was very appologetic about the time and I interrupted her by saying, "You're fine, in fact you're ten minutes early." She mentioned comming to my place to get kids and I told her I would bring them to her as I was going somewhere anyway.

About 30 minutes later she called again. This time I answered the phone by saying, "If you keep calling me like this I'm going to have to get a bluetooth." She appologized again and said she stopped by the grocery store on the way home. "No problem, we haven't left yet," I answered. She then asked if I would stop and pick up something she forgot on the way to her place. I said I would.

On the way to her place I called her and when she answered I told her, "For an X-wife you sure are a lot of trouble." I was being funny. I hadn't picked up what she wanted as I was trying to get somewhere before they closed. I/she could pick it up later easily.

After dropping off kids she called and asked "one more favor," if I would pick up her dry cleaning (yes, I am serious). I bowed out gracefully by saying I couldn't at the moment and the cleaners might be closed later so if she needed it before Monday she had better pick it up herself.

She called a little later and blew up at me. Was angry I didn't do what I said I would (pick up the item) and that I had made the comment about her being a lot of trouble for an X-wife. This was possibly a 180 as I don't recall addressing her as my X-wife before. Although she didn't mention it no doubt declining to pick up her dry cleaning also contributed.

She's a loon.

On some level I think this talk of me going out with her co-worker has rattled her although she hides it very well. I have noticed on other occasions when she thinks I might be "done" with her she comes up with reasons to contact me because of the children or things that involve us both as the FS isn't complete. I don't know if she is aware of this on a conscious level or not. She has commented more than once that she doesn't know what her own reaction will be when I begin dating.

She's still in love with me. She's still angry with me. I believe on one hand she would like for me to go out and relieve her guilt. On the other hand she doesn't want me to go out with someone else.

She's a loon.