Absolute inspiration! Keep posting all of your fun GAL activities. Maybe it will spark the rest of us to get lives of our own too instead of living vicariously through your posts. Of course, I'm speaking purely for myself as I'm quite sure everyone else here has a life!
You're one awesome lady Lisa!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
It's so fun to come back after a mini-break (from the boards) and see the fun you had while I was away. I hope you're all having super-fun weekends!!
So, there was NC from H this week. I didn't expect any so that was fine. I found myself missing him quite a lot on Wednesday but am not sure what the reason was. I suppose we're usually in touch at least once during the week, so maybe it was that. Next week will be more interesting; he's back from his holiday so we'll see if he gets in touch. I think it'll be fine if he doesn't though- I have another busy week. I'm really proud that I managed to not check his or any of his cousin's FB pages to check the holiday story out, although I was really tempted on Thursday evening!
So, Wednesday night was Austin's leaving do. In the end CEO was ill so didn't come out with us. We had a great evening though- we laughed so much that on Thursday my stomach and cheeks were aching. She's so funny and I'm really going to miss her. We also went out for a group dinner yesterday night with some of her and her H's friends. It was a really fun evening- I'd forgotton how nice it can be to hang out in a big group of friends. One of the guys there said I was the most entertaining person he'd met in 9 years and thathe couldn't remember the last time he'd had so much fun. That was really nice, and I'll be sure to let both H and CEO know about it! Ha!
OK. I had a big fight with CEO yesterday and am going to post it separately so no-one has to read the whole thing!
On Wednesday we had our team meeting. At one point CEO asked what the difference was between a 'confirmed girlfriend' and a 'validated girlfriend' (It was a play on a drug development joke- hard to explain!). When he said it he looked directly at me and asked me which I thought was better.
On Thursday we had a big meeting and I was doing a presentation. I thought I did it well (presenting is a massive part of my job so I'm used to doing it professionally and well. once I played the same venue as David Bowie, although we obviously weren't on the same bill- I was afternoon and he was evening!). After my presentation, anyway, I went and sat on the chair next to CEO. Glancing over at his pad of paper I saw that he'd written 'This is a presentation, NOT a striptease'. Needless to say that I was pretty outraged by it! But I didn't say anything in the meeting.
Immediately after the meeting CEO came to Austin and I and in a friendly was apologied for not going out on Wednesday and then asked if we'd found a man and ravaged him all night. I ignored him completely and proceeded to all afternoon (which was easy as he was really busy with meetings). At home in the evening I thought about it more, and realised that it was probably a reflection of him thinking of me in a naughty way rather than my actual performance.
Friday came and CEO didn't come in until early afternoon. After getting in, anyway, CEO came over and asked if I was OK. I said I was fine and that I just wanted to be left alone. He asked me another 5 times what was wrong, and I told him in order to 'please leave me alone', 'go for lunch', 'just go away then', and 'look, I'll tell you when I'm ready'. So he went away for about an hour.
After that hour we had a conversation (in the kitchen, so in private) with CEO is full pursuit mode trying to find out what was wrong so he could fix it. I was still mad cou;dn't speak about it. Another hour then passed with CEO in a meeting but spending at least 95% of the time looking at me with concern on his face (I felt really bad at this point as he was trying so hard!). He was REALLY looking- my stomach butterflies were beating like mad.
We eventually had a meeting to discuss the presentation. He gave me his feedback and I discussed it with him. I called him on the striptease thing (which he didn't bring up) and he said he'd meant it in an intellectual way rather than physical. I'm not sure I believe that- I think it was a reflection of is personal desires (LOL) and I wasn't meant to see it. At one point CEO said to me that he had to give me feedback as he couldn't have favourites and people already suspected something (!!!!????). Rich Girl then came in and said he was missing an important meeting so we finished the conversation and he had his meeting.
We then spoke again an hour after that and he asked if I was still annoyed with him. I said I was fine and that I accepted some of the feedback but not all. Things were then OK (at least for me). We then chose the sink and wine chiller for his kitchen. I wasn't sure about the drainer and said I couldn't live with the one he wanted. He said he was getting a dishwasher too, which was sweet.
We then exchanged a couple of e-mails. The last was CEO saying I was 'going to be even more brilliant than I already am'. I the left work and had a great night out with Austin and friends
*sigh* You'd think, wouldn't you, that having a big fight would make me less susceptible to him. But instead, it's made my 'crush' even worse- he was so focussed on fixing what was wrong that he started missing meetings for me, him not being able to concentrate on his other work for looking at me and worrying about what was wrong. It's so different from my H behaves, and it was so nice to be pursued in that way. The other thing was that it felt really good to be able to express some anger and actually have a discussion with him about what was wrong. H would have just said 'I don't know what you want me to say', while CEO had a lot to say for himself.
*sigh, sigh, sigh*. On the plus side, at least it's helped distract me from thinking about H being on holiday this week. The thing is, it's all a big worry because CEO is becoming more and more attractive to me. It's dangerous for my DBing I know (so I don't need 2x4s! ).
Gosh! You're not even together and already you are argueing!! I was reading that sensing that he feels rather confused.. you have been flirting for England and dressing up (for your H/DBing) but it has split over into all areas of your life.. you have openly flirted with him and frankly you must have driven the poor man mad! Ironically you have done everything right if you look at the conventional wisdom of snaring a man.. becuase your energies are meant for your H, but he's not responding. Meanwhile, CEO is probably going bananas trying to work out whats going on with you.. you must be the ultimate unnobtainable prize.
I dont understand the striptease comment.. did he think you were being too familiar/provocative??? Or just 'revealing' too much about the subject matter? I agree that he sees you in a sexual light, else he would have made some other analogy.
I also noticed that you are getting quite personal with him, in your reactions, and getting angry.. I wonder if thats appropriate with your boss!? But it must feel natural to be that way with him (which is a sign of a deepening connection between you?) but also, do you thnk that you are perhaps transferring some anger from your sitch with your H leaving/not coming back?
Lastly, if your CEO is getting more and more dangerous to you and thats bad for DBing.. are you still 100% committed to your H then? Do you not want to be distracted/swept off your feet by a succesful, intelligent, good looking, thoughtful, expressive man ??? I guess not, because love is love and you still love your H.
Ali x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Funny- I hadn't thought of CEO being confused, but you're right- he may well be.
He explained the striptease comment as that I was explaining my slides by just letting a little information out at a time and needed to get to the point more quickly. I'm not sure why it was necessary to refer to it as a striptease; I'd have thought 'get to the point' might have been a bit more of an obvious thing to say, but there you go. I'm not worried about it as I'm pretty confident with my presentation skills not being provocative/familiar. I'm a scientist- it's not what we do!
Transferring anger- not sure about that. I don't think I was; I was genuinely angry at having been referred to as a stripper (although I'm laughing about it now). I guess arguing with him was a familiar thing to do, but so was calling me a stripper and referring Austin and I ravaging men, so I don't think he could complain. Having said that, just because he does it doesn't mean I have to, so I won't get angry with him again.....
Gosh, that last one's a tricky one. Am I 100% committed to me H? At this time I'd say that the door is open to reconciliation, but I'm not sure how I'd feel if H said he wanted to work things out. I don't know how long I should stay 100% committed given that I want kids and there's no guarantee H will come home. From that point of view being swept off my feet would be nice. I guess I'm undecided, still DBing but being open to other possibilities, including the sperm bank!!
Hi My Lady!! Just checking on you and happy to see your CEO is being wise and smart. YOur "crush" is soooo cute!! You are trying so hard to resist and still..., you are letting your mind wander. I like that. It means you are alive and in a good shape to be able to see what else is there in this world besides your H. What you do, is your business but "leave all options open" would be my moto if you would ask me. People should get what they deserve. Love K
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