I figure it is just another alien hubby saying. I will try your suggestions and really look for things to affirm to let him know that I do want him the way he is and that I do not need 100% stability at this moment (as far as financial, place to live, future plans, etc) I just need stability within the relationship that he CAN give me right now even if he does not have a job or know what is going to happen in the next month. I just need to talk to him. . .
He is still MIA at the moment. I have not texted him since Thursday afternoon. Kinda frustrated about that. I don't know why he is ignoring me again. If he is just done then he needs to say that but when he says things like "I haven't given up yet" and agrees when I say we should talk more often then he should follow through on that. I know he is in his "cave" and that I can't pester him out of it, which is why I am dark right now. But the longer this goes on the more irratated and angry I am becomming. I am his wife for goodness sake! He should want to talk to me, he should miss me and want to make plans to see me. Whatever.
I'm just kinda mad today about the whole thing. There are soo many resons that I would have to be justified in walking away from this whole thing and moving on and finding someone new but in the back of my mind I just want him. I hate that! Why can't I just let this go? He is making it obvious that he does not care about me and why should I be wasting my time on a man who does not know how to treat me with respect and love, even just common curtusy at this point would be helpful! He says we are such great friends, well dear good friends don't go days on end without talking to their good friends!!! Ugh.
Sorry for the rant. I've just been cycling through this stuff this morning when I couldn't fall back asleep so it's been bitting away at me for awhile now. I guess the anger helps me to detach but sometimes I want it to be the final act of detachment and not just to help me get through the next few days until he decides Im worth speaking to again. . .he has no idea how lucky he is to have someone like me in his life and yet at every turn he treats me terribly and I just keep coming back for more like some abused puppy. Sickening really.
Ok. . .rant over. I got stuff to do today! I'll check in later should anything happen.
