Do Something DIFFERENT

[Laurie]

Dear JoJo,
I get the sense that you have made a new commitment toward taking care of yourself as you go dark. The progress for yourself is very good to note!

In regards your question about M and asking her to not talk about A with you. Along with changing the subject, you could and may already choose to avoid responding to A talk or getting off the phone when A talk comes. These are subtle ways to avoid this. How would M respond if you told her you would prefer not to talk about A anymore? Take that hypothetical converstation with me a few steps, OK?

You've got two goals from my understanding (OK, you have a LOT more, but we're only focusing on two right now!): 1) Using dark time to take care and invest in yourself, 2) Hoping the dark time helps A initiate contact. Would being clear or confrontive M help these goals? What do you think?

AND..I have to believe that if you are busier in your life and obsessing less that has got to be good for you and for your R with A!

HUGS!