Bridge....you probably know this but I think your counsellor is doing the right thing at the moment in seeing you both separately. I know from my experiences and reading that when abuse is involved (and the counsellor obviously knows this) it is better to see the couple individually. Also, obviously, you are there in the sitch and I am not but I think some individual counselling is well in order for both of you, particularly him, and really, would your h actively seek and go to a new counsellor?

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Purple

As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe