Thank you Summer.... Honestly when I saw that you had posted, I thought you were going to blast me for being curt. I really am not insensitive, I just get fed up when I see so many hurting people here and they have put their whole lives on hold because their Spouse decided to leave them. I think so many of us are afraid and so we remain stuck. Afraid of change, afraid of the unknown. I know that during my Husband's absence, the very best time for me was when I was right with God. I was at peace and everything just fell into place. Yes, I was still hurting, and I still missed my Husband, but I just knew, that God was not going to forsake me and I knew that he did not give me those precious children only to abandon them. Not once did they go without, or go hungry. I honestly believe that He gave me those children to build my character. Their prayers were so pure and so heartfelt that I learned from them, rather then the other way around. Please don't think that I am not grateful that He sent my Prodigal home, it is just that I know now that my Husband is just a Man, and I can not put all of my hope and dreams into any human being. My trust has to be in God first.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Puzzled as to why you worried I'd blast you! Sorry if my name evoked fear!! LOL!!
I actually wish you'd gone even harder at it!
No one on the board now seems to get it at all. Years ago the people on DB really did understand the basics of both DB and faith based solutions.
I often want to post and SCREAM the message to everyone on DB -- but even when I tiptoe softly -- and try to teach the message -- the people who need it the most -- either completely ignore it -- or are ALWAYS the ones who are the loudest and most defensive voices in response.
I feel you are about the only other person on DB who truly understands WHY it is idolatry!
In our ever-changing world, families move, friendships drift, allegiances shift, and technology advances by quantum leaps. If we seek security in people, possessions, or positions, we're doomed to disappointment.
But, we all need somewhere to turn during the storms of life. The one true anchor for our soul is Jesus Christ, who Scripture assures us will not change. To find comfort in Him, we must learn who He is, what He does, and how He works. Today, we'll explore a few details about His life and character.
John 1:1 reveals that Jesus was Deity from the beginning. Fully God and fully man, He was born of a virgin. Jesus lived 33 years on earth. He was crucified despite His innocence. He rose after three days. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He's the Christ, the Son of the Living God.
Our Lord fulfilled countless prophesies in the Old Testament, such as Isaiah 53. Like us, Jesus has feelings. He wept for hurting people. He felt angry when people misused the temple. Most importantly, His resurrection defeated death, and He still lives today.
God's character never varies. Of course, as situations change, He acts accordingly. But the merciful, loving, compassionate, and holy Jesus we know in Scripture is the same Messiah we can cling to today.
Where do you turn in trying times? Difficult circumstances are inevitable. Prepare yourself for them by learning who Jesus is. He's the only true shelter and rock that will not change. What a wonderful Savior!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Sorry I posted in wrong thread meant for Brandnewday Wow i just read your threads way back when... you and MWG... you guys have come so far... but I also realized like you have said and also MWG that this is a long process.....I hope one day I will be where you guys are right now...
I am amazed how mean MWG husband was.. said so many hurtful things and did so much to his family not that mine is any different but he has never been really mean just when we speak he is totally not my husband... and You BND you sounded so confused... hurt....and lost but I saw a very different change in you at one point in all your postings... a new creature in Christ perhaps???or just a renewed spirit???
How much you both have changed... I also saw Yellowrose when she first came in as well as Snodderly.... long time posters in here...all just as scared as I am..
Thank God for that... because you all have been a God send to me. as I am sure to others as well....
Just wanted to tell you that .....
Be Blessed In Jesus Name
Last edited by IRMAT; 09/26/0809:18 PM.
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
Sorry I posted in wrong thread meant for Brandnewday Wow i just read your threads way back when... you and MWG... you guys have come so far... but I also realized like you have said and also MWG that this is a long process.....I hope one day I will be where you guys are right now...
I am amazed how mean MWG husband was.. said so many hurtful things and did so much to his family not that mine is any different but he has never been really mean just when we speak he is totally not my husband... and You BND you sounded so confused... hurt....and lost but I saw a very different change in you at one point in all your postings... a new creature in Christ perhaps???or just a renewed spirit???
How much you both have changed... I also saw Yellowrose when she first came in as well as Snodderly.... long time posters in here...all just as scared as I am..
Thank God for that... because you all have been a God send to me. as I am sure to others as well....
Just wanted to tell you that .....
Be Blessed In Jesus Name
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
IRMAT, I was never scared of what my h was doing and ended up doing, nor of the future. I was more confused, hurt and in pain for the irrational behavior, the lies, stealing, etc. I was and still am very independent and didn't have to rely on my xh for providing for me and the most important thing for me was that I didn't have children that I had to worry about because their father wasn't there for them.
The main goal that I had was to protect my assets and ensure that the financial side of things had been taken care of. I was in a fight to keep him from spending everything we had saved and from destoying me in the process. When you are in that type of fight for survival, you do not have time to be scared...you go into survival mode and focus on what is important.
You know what? I've never looked back and wondered about the "what ifs". My thoughts are..life's a journey...you have a one ticket to use...use it to the fullest, do what you can, control what you can and be the best that you can be. If it's meant to be that your spouse return, God will see to it. If not, he's got another plan for you, one that is better than you can imagine. It all takes time, patience and faith.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thankfully I am not the same person I was and the changes happened in both me and my Husband.
I had to take the focus off of him and begin the work on myself, and believe me there was a hell of a lot of stuff to do.
Snodderly is absolutely right when she says you have to protect yourself financially. I really wish I had listened more to the initial advice I received when I first began posting here.
I was more afraid of upsetting my Husband and pushing him away, so I remained like a deer caught in the headlights until I finally got the courage to stop being stuck.
Unfortunately I was totally dependent upon my Husband for all of my finances as I was unable to work outside of the home due to lack of child care. He would play games with me and some of the things I chose to tolerate because I needed him to give me money. Payday was every other Thursday, so I had to be nice to him every other Wednesday.........
It all sounds so ridiculous now, when I look back at some of those old threads and see how I behaved and how I reacted to every single one of his antics.
I allowed alot of things to happen, as I mentioned above out of fear of the unknown and fear of a Divorce. Now, in hindsight I would have handled things very differently.
Blessings to you also, and have a wonderful week.
((((hugs))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
