That's a REALLY common WAH saying, "I have nothing to offer." I have heard those exact words. It doesn't seem to work to say "yes you do." What I think is starting to work in my own sitch is to SHOW H how much I am learning from him. I am doing this by ALWAYS highlighting things that he is teaching me, giving me. For example, have you thought about maybe talking about something you've learned from him over the S period, something genuine, like being more laid back or something along these lines? A line I like to use with my H is "I've taken a page from your book", or "I never thought of that before, but after seeing you do this I thought I'd give it a try as well..." You've said your biggest need is stability. However ARE you learning something from the turmoil? Is there something positive you can say about what this situation is teaching you? My H also said "would I really want him the way that he is now." I am going to tell him yes I would, because I actually like him the way he is now, and give some examples about how he is now that is different than before, but that I understand he doesn't feel he is very good company right now and has some things to work through on his own.
Basically anything that demonstrates how much value they are adding to our lives can, I think, start to slowly rebuild their confidence.
Hope you are feeling a little bit better today!
ITH
Last edited by istherehope; 09/27/0810:02 AM.
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
