It is a hard spot to be in. Sometimes I have the same thoughts. There is nothing you can really say at this point. I have found it to be normal to go back and forth until you reach a certain point where you know that whatever happens you will be fine. The best thing you can do is not let what your W says or does effect your mood. It is hard, believe me I know.
Just stay strong for yourself and the kids. Whatever happens is going to happen. Do the best you can do for yourself and the kids. You can't control her, only yourself. Just do the right thing and everything else will fall into place. No matter what, if you do the right thing you will be a better person no matter what happens. Stay strong.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
