Hope, I am so sorry you have to go through this with your D's. You would think that the pain that these H's are causing their children would at least thin the fog! But no way they continue on with these wacked out ideas of what is best for them b/c they are not happy. Well I am very proud of you and how you are handling things. You have such great strength. Keep moving forward you can do it.
Well my H was confronted by one of my friends last week and she let him have it in a nice way. She called him out on all of his foolishness and how everybody knows about the OW and how much of a dirt bag she is. She said that the R will never last. She thought it did nothing to him but come to find out we all see the same C and the C thanked my friend for saying something to my H b/c he talked about it in his session and that he thinks it really helped. I have 2 thoughts, 1. Is that not breaking patient confid. and 2. I wonder if he might be realizing how studpid he has been. He has been nicer to me since his appointment and he even offered to help me with something with the house and told me how nice the yard looks. He has not done that since he has left. He also called me yesterday when he had the girls to tell me something cute our D's did. He has not done that either. Sometimes I think he returns for a brief moment and then back to the same old.
I started my new job today. I have a month of home study so it will be a nice break for me. I have to use my time wisely. I go away for a week of training in Nov. I am not looking forward to that.
I hope everyone has a great weekend! I saw on Dr. Phil yesterday they were talking about the movie Fireproof. Please report back about what you think of the movie.
Stay strong, be patient, and pray!
Me-30 H-30 M-6yrs T-14yrs Twin D's-2 Bomb-1/01/08 Left Home 2/01/08 (rented a room) Back Home 4/02/08 Left Home 5/08/08 (moved into own apt.) OW-21 5/29/08
Watched the movie Fireproof. Yes I cried. Could barely get it together to leave the theater. So big sis and brother go to the park so I am alone. Still really emotionally drained from the movie. So I decided to go in the garage to dig out boxes of pictures. I signed up for this website called The Family Post about 2 weeks ago. It's really cool. You can set up a family website. So I decide to gather all the pictures over the last 20 some years. I finally found the box I was looking for. And the 1st thing I pull out is pictures of my H and I when we went on a cruise for our 15 year anniversary. To say the least between that and the movie I came unglued and cried for an hour. I'm so sick of hurting and I am fully aware I should use this time to take care of myself and heal. I am so not ready for the holidays and my 10 year anniversary. I know having a weak moment, it'll pass. Just wanted to whine to someone. My friend says that her mother went through similar stuff with her H for 2 years and that to be careful as the H's get nostalgic over the holidays, but then around January they fly the coup again and start over. She said her dad did that to her mom 2 years in a row till her mom said that's it it's over. Knowing this I almost don't want H to want to reconcile during holidays and run the risk of starting the whole mess over. I get to wake up in the morning and watch my son play football which I love but now I have to see my H every Sat. God help me. I'm sure you all remember what happened last Sat. I am determined to keep my mouth shut, but I hate seeing him. I do not know how you guys do it with your H's still living in the home while they are having the A. I do so much better with him out of the house. It's far more healing and I can concentrate better on GAL and myself. I see him you guys and I feel like an alien in my own skin, I just want to run. He has blamed it all on me and says he does not like me. He lashed out in the most God awful emails. I showed one to my pastor and he was shocked. He said it took him 2 days to get over it. What do I do when I see him when I just want to run!!!! I hope you all are doing better than me. Why why why.
I'm so serious about organizing a march like the million man march protesting Infidelity. Anyone affected can go to the march-children, wives, extended family. Think about it. It probably would be more than a million. It would bring conviction on all those in America doing it. And I would love to have national legislation past to make EVERY state a fault state and maybe have employers make stiffer punishments for employees who commit adultery in the work place. Ok I know sounds crazy but I am so so serious. We protest to save whales, but not the destruction of the family unit do to affairs ya know. Makes no sense.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
{{{{shout out to all}}}} first appreciate all of your kind words. It has been hell since yesterday. I feel like my heart is ripped out all over again. both Ds are really upset. Yeah H was upset last night, but it did not stop him from coming home from work, showering, pouring on cologne and saying i am going out to play pool and have a few beers. that was at 6:30, it is after midnight here. I am angry he is doing this with D15 in the house tonight. I see the worry on her face knowing he is out drinking. Talked to oldest D for about 2 hours tonight. That was good. When H left house I went to the movies -- alone. I saw Night at Rothante. Everyone was crying and so was I -- for myself so I fit right in. I thought about going to Fireproof but I see how T2L is and I am not strong enough yet. Once H leaves on Wed I still have to see him at work. I think I will call in sick a few days. I did apply for the HR manager position, which the program manager endorsed me for. If I get it the first thing I will do is fire the OW. Wouldn't that be great? Love the idea of the million mile walk. Do you know in Texas that they have so many divorces that they are considering a year wait to begin process after filing. Good idea. Since there is no LS it would give time to delay the D and think it through. Tomorrow I call my SIL and expose H. Also, here is a heartbreaker, My D15 gives me her Ipod, and wants me to listen to a song -- it is called "Daddy's little girl" by Frankie J? She said it was exactly how she felt. It is a tearjerker, telling her father she does not want him to go, she will be better, do her schoolwork etc. How sad. Well she wants to play it for him tomorrow. Out of the mouth of babes. I did go to gym today also. Yes, pray pray pray, be strong and good thing we all take care of each other here. God bless
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Oh God help me!!!! I am a mess. So everyone knows H hs been out of the home for about 5 months and living with OW since August 1st. So H sends me an email tonight telling me after our son's game tomorrow he needs to come by the house and use some tools and while he's here he wants to fix my brakes and clean the air filter on my truck. I have been crying all night. Ok I guess for most people they would be happy, but we have a wealthy friend who committed an A and he tried to reconcile with his wife but she was like no way. Well our friend is really wealthy so he just lives in the other room and co parents with wife and lives separate lives. I think part of him thinks I'll go for that. He did say please let me do this, i know it's hard for you to let me help you. Ok it never was before, he helped me all the time, but things have obviously changed.
I just feel like hey you want to clean my air filter and fix my brakes and then go home to the OW? Thanks but no thanks. All i have is my self respect I don't need any favors ya know what I Mean or am I being a complete fool? My eyes are swollen and I feel like a wreck!
I don't want him relieving his conscience then going back and crawling into bed with OW. I'm not a sell out for help or money. I'm like come home when your committed. Tomorrow is going to be very trying for me. Say a prayer for me.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
t2L, try not to read too much into this. You have been independent these past 5 months. Let H fix your car. Yes, it is a good sign but I understand our pride is shattered knowing they are witht he OW again. If you keep reflecting on the OW you will make yourself crazy. Let H come over, be silent, say thank you, let H see all the GAL you are doing. DO not revert back to old ways, I did that the last few days and it has been awful with a setback with all the good I have done to date. I pray for you. Let us know how it is going.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I hope everyone had peaceful weekends. I had a great time with my girls. I love them soooo much! They really are my strength through all of this and my motivation to keep on keeping on. It is sad to hear my girls when they see pictures of couples and say that you you and daddy, right mommy! They are only 2 1/2. Amazing how bright they are. For the past month I have been teaching them to pray and I asked them what they want to pray for and they tell me for daddy to come home. This made me fall over. This was on their own and my H thinks that this does not effect them! They say it now every night when they pray! Also my one D said that she loves her daddy and she thinks that the OW is gross! Once again, amazing for a small child.
I really am hoping and praying that my H comes out of this fog. He did tell me when I asked (broke DB tactics) if he missed me and he said yes, I miss you alot. I asked if it was just as friend for more. He said that he misses me in every way! Why is this not enough, break it off with the OW and come home and work on our M! Oh how frustrating!
Me-30 H-30 M-6yrs T-14yrs Twin D's-2 Bomb-1/01/08 Left Home 2/01/08 (rented a room) Back Home 4/02/08 Left Home 5/08/08 (moved into own apt.) OW-21 5/29/08
T2L - hope you survived your Hs visit. Let us know how you made out.
Twinhope, glad you had good weekend with girls. It makes me sad how even the little ones are affected by their father's absence.
This has been the weekend of exposure and it was pretty tough. Talked to my SIL on Saturday. H had talked to her on Friday. she said she was shocked when H told her he had asked me for divorce. She thought he was making a joke. He told her he would be moving out. I filled her in on him leaving on Wed., how he was having A with direct report co-worker, and she was really upset. She told me he had changed so much since we had moved to Tx. She hardly had heard from him. (MLC fog). Then I spoke with D15 and let her know about her father. It went well. I told her that her Dad had made some very bad mistakes and it is wrong to have an A, and that I would continue to work on the myself mentally, physically, and spirtually. I also told her I was still committed to Daddy and loved him very much. She asked if I would be dating anyone, and I told her that I was committed to her and her sister's happiness. She took it well. She said she was disappointed in her father and was mad that he would do this to his family. Then when H came home later. I told him that I had talked to SIL about his A. Then I told him that both of his girls also knew about the A and they both knew who the OW was. He was very upset. H said that it was a lie about OW and I was crazy. So I pulled a page of his phone records that I had showing how she would call H from work and then a minute later he would call her on her cell phone every morning on the way to work, lunch and end of the day. I told him "it misuse of work time" spent talking to each other with private conversations. He was dumbfounded I had this informaton and was upset that I exposed him. I said the girls asked me and I will not lie to them. He said some awful things and then said once we get D I will be all alone. I went crazy and said some very un DB things but then got a grip on myself and walked away. He left the house and I said remember if you call her I will know about it. It was a bad night. On Sunday I went to Ds soccer game, he drove himself the 2.5 hours to watch. He called me before the game and asked if he could sit with me. He apologized for the awful things he said to me. He was embarrassed that the girls knew about OW. It was the first time I saw the real unfog H in awhile. He did not say anything about breaking up with OW. I was not sure about exposure but I agree what T2L sent about exposure and how it would bring everything out in the open which they don't want. Now it is out there. Will keep you posted. 3 days till H moves. Still can't believe it.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Good morning All! Jumping on real quick, meeting a girlfriend for a morning walk in a few minutes. Hope everyone is doing good. My weekend was a nightmare, but I'm here and alive so I'll fill you all in. Drama, Drama, and more Drama.....
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
By the way it looks like we may be getting close to the 100 posts, so I'll re-list when we do if we get locked out. Probably Trying2live, New-post or something like that....
Last edited by Trying2live; 09/29/0803:35 PM.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Gang, lets look for the new thread when T2L sets it up. Where are you JGrind??? worried?? marisol? Twinhope? Txmom...etc.
T2L, remember we are here. Let us know how you made out with H over the weekend. What a week !
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
