This past week I almost lost it. I have been struggling to keep on track and get things done. I realize it's because I'm still not healing yet, still not letting go.
So, from now on I'm going to post about me, my girls, my life moving forward.
My birthday is at the end of October so I've set goals that I want to attain by then. The most important one is
I will get back to being Frank.
I am so overwhelmed with anxiety and pain today. Why? Because of the stress I'm under and the hurt of knowing after 9 months that W really is emotionally gone. I've been this way all week and it has to stop. It has to.
I know that God has wonderful plans for my life, I just know it. I also know they won't happen until I let them. Until I let go.
A lot of the feelings I have are abandonment issues from childhood. I know that now, and I know that part of this whole mess is because of my own self fulfilling prophesies. I'm not lovable enough, nobody will stay with me unless I keep giving and giving.. or I control them.
This is now my life crisis. I've been avoiding that for a long time. I need support.
So, I forgive the past, and I'm focusing on the present. The future will take care of itself.
