First of all, Nut, thanks my man. Your "man hug" was accepted and appreciated.
Latest update...
I've gone back over and re-read my copy of the parenting evaluation. It is frustrating b/c I've been given a lot of "credit" and was "commended" by the parenting evaluator for being open and honest. Yet, b/c I admitted that I did yell at my W at times when I was angry and frustrated and I did pound my fist on a counter or a wall - mostly b/c I was upset w/ myself and I wasn't directing this at my wife at all - the evaluator decided there had been "domestic violence" in the house despite how I tried to "spin it."
So, b/c my W was able to convince herself, her peers, her friends, and her family that I was abusive. And now, my W has been able to convince the evaluator as well.
Thus, I've been labeled as an instigator of "domestic violence" by the parenting evaluator in Arizona. Now I don't have to register or anything, but that was the opinion for the court.
I was also given a lot of "credit" for working on myself in therapy, but the evaluator also felt that since we "can't get along" then we shouldn't have joint custody. The thing is I'm not the one being difficult, but I'm being punished for it. I took the high road and I get the short end.
My L said there isn't really anything else to do in this fight, so I'm pretty much stuck w/ these guidelines. I'll get two exclusive weeks w/ D in the summer, and then every other weekend and a mid-week overnight. Thus, I roughly get her for 1/3 of the calendar year, so I'll just have to make it quality time b/c I'm not given quantity.
My L said that we need to not push this further b/c I was given 50/50 legal custody over D, which usually isn't the case when an evaluator rules as he has done in my case. So, I am at least able to have an equal say in the major decisions about my D.
My L and also I talked today about the financial end of things and it looks like I'll be on the hook for some child support payments - even though it isn't too much at $575 a month - and he's trying to avoid paying W's attorney fees for her b/c in this state the one who is "the offender" - in this case, it is me w/ that label - has to pay the court fees of the "non-offender."
We still have to see what credits I'm owed from W and what she'll claim to be owed by me. We have to still divide up the pensions, but I'm going to still come out of this w/ a massive personal debt, even w/ the hopeful sale of the house.
I'm not sure what W will ask for, but I'm going to be very, very financially strapped for quite a while while I'm paying off the several thousands I'll still owe after getting 1/2 of the house profits. We're also going to ask to hold off signing the official decree until Dec. 31 so we can file taxes as "married, filing seperately" to avoid some very, very big tax hits.
So, that is where I'm at. I'll be getting my beautiful little D in a few minutes, but I'll have to spend some time talking w/ my L over the weekend as we continue to prepare our stuff for the courts.
