I am not home while he is with the children...I am at work... but I had requested from him that if he chose to be with her to please not hang out at our house all weekend...it was hard for me to come home from work with it smelling like his cologne...his slippers in the living room..his tooth brush on the counter ...his pepsi can by the computer...it just hurt.
As for the packing... he is not going to do it...again I am in such an emotional state that I am looking for something to get me thru this...I thought if his stuff is gone maybe I can find some peace.
He just called 5 min ago to talk to daughter before school. Of course, I answered.. he was so chipper and positive..just like nothing is wrong...
Now my heart hurts, I will think of his voice all day and I get to go to work and see her. Puke.
I do have to go to work so I will try and read your story tonight. I am trying to listen to everyone as much as possible.
Hello All.... I havent been written in a few days. Nothing too exciting... I still communicate daily with Hubby. Something always happens with the kids.
Three nights ago my daughter14 got mad at me..guess what she screamed...
"Im glad Jaimi stole your husband". Wow did that hurt.. and she is not remorseful...it does suck.
Hubby is leaving on Wed to go to chicago.. I am just waiting for his trip...
After our conversation about daughter.. I just asked him to say it...I have all the good stuff.. I love you etc in my head..just tell me your done and I will give up....
He couldnt do it..he said I just need to go see my family ... who knows what that means... I know I shouldnt ask but sometimes I get to where I cannot deal with his back and forth.
He did tell me he misses me and still cares...cares..nice word.
I had to take daughter10 to meet him this morning..no school today..she is going to work with him. It was hard to see him.
So... at this point we are still in limbo land. I still love him and am so jurt by all this..but I want it over!
After our conversation about daughter.. I just asked him to say it...I have all the good stuff.. I love you etc in my head..just tell me your done and I will give up....
He couldnt do it..
San,
When you do this, can you see how it's still giving HIM the control, the say-so? He needs to know that YOU are calling the shots for your own happiness and peace-of-mind now, not that you're looking to him for HIS answers.
I'm so sorry about your daughter's comment. That must have really hurt.
The comment does hurt..it just shows how this horrible affair is affecting the children.
I guess I feel he still is in total control and he knows it. He knows that I am here... I do love him... he just cant make a decision..what he is having trouble deciding between who knows..seems pretty easy to me.
But when he returns..if he doesnt make any attempt to reconsile...my heart will be done and closed.
He asked for time..he only gets a little more..especially since he is still with her..
Sandy, he needs to believe that your love and patience for him is a CONTINUUM, and that -- because of his continued destructive actions -- you're already on your way down it.
NOT a single point, still to come, where you "may or may not" be there for him. He needs to know it's ALREADY taken four hits, and it further slipping away, and that you seem to moving on and also seem to be OKAY with that (a sense of "gee, she's really doing well. Hmmm.....").
And a BIG part of him getting that vibe from you or not is the balance of power in the relationship. When you do things like ask him "just tell me, this is your call...", it gives him ALL the power, which is ALREADY KNOWS HE DOES HAVE, which is why he keeps screwing you over and coming back to you (same reason a dog licks himself: "because he can.").
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
hmmmmmmmmm ok fine guess we will just all have to share you then lol!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
you also should consider writing a book ya know? hmmmmm you could even call it puppy dog tails lol!! money money you know we would all buy it lol!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010