Lifeline....well OK...but I don't think you are being 100% honest with yourself just yet.
Can you tell us again "why" you didn't want to have good sex with your H before the A? You said it was due to some prior sex abuse. OK I will buy that that was 2% of the reason...but that reason certainly did not stop you from having sex with OM. So again I would ask....if you say you can have good sex with your H in the future, why did you not have it with him in the past?
The point I am getting at is that right now, I believe you are only seeing things through your regret, repentance, and guilt.
However, regret, repentance and guilt will NOT keep you from cheating in the future, and also, they will NOT keep you continueing to have good sex with your H in the future.
Again..."why" did you not have good sex with him in the past?
(please know that I am simply hoping to help you look deeper within...I know from experience that unless you do that, you won't grow past these events)
