Sandy, he needs to believe that your love and patience for him is a CONTINUUM, and that -- because of his continued destructive actions -- you're already on your way down it.
NOT a single point, still to come, where you "may or may not" be there for him. He needs to know it's ALREADY taken four hits, and it further slipping away, and that you seem to moving on and also seem to be OKAY with that (a sense of "gee, she's really doing well. Hmmm.....").
And a BIG part of him getting that vibe from you or not is the balance of power in the relationship. When you do things like ask him "just tell me, this is your call...", it gives him ALL the power, which is ALREADY KNOWS HE DOES HAVE, which is why he keeps screwing you over and coming back to you (same reason a dog licks himself: "because he can.").
