Thanks you two , you guys are always there for me. I dunno why he is blind? I am sure the alcohol gets in the way... I am ready to give up and tell him , he can leave and he can then be happy w/o strings and me. He says he loves me , this isnt love. Alicia
Alicia I've said for a while that our sitches have a similarity. After my H and I reconciled after our first split my H kept telling me it was me who wasn't trying hard enough, me who couldn't forgive (he was right on that one) etc etc. He made me feel like a bad person (just as your H is doing). After he left this time and while he was still prepared to talk to me he admitted that he had done all those things b/c he wanted me to leave so that he wasn't seen to be the bad person! The rest is history. I hope I'm wrong on this one.
Take care.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Alicia I've said for a while that our sitches have a similarity. After my H and I reconciled after our first split my H kept telling me it was me who wasn't trying hard enough, me who couldn't forgive (he was right on that one) etc etc. He made me feel like a bad person (just as your H is doing). After he left this time and while he was still prepared to talk to me he admitted that he had done all those things b/c he wanted me to leave so that he wasn't seen to be the bad person! The rest is history. I hope I'm wrong on this one.
Take care.
OMG~
yeah this would make sense.... he gets to be let off the hook when I give in and tell him yeah you are right I am no good and so I will leave. He said to me awhile ago he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. ? And he loves me very much?! WTF??????????????????
I dont call this living. And yet here I am .. Does God still want for me to stand? Alicia
That is the million dollar question which we all wish we had the answer to.
I wasn't saying you shouldn't continue to stand I just wanted you to see that sometimes they have a different agenda to you. Like I said I really do hope that on this occassion our sitches will be different. I hope I haven't upset you.
My D is definately going ahead. At the moment I am trying to raise the equivalent of just over a year's wages in order to buy H out of our house. Its a lot more than I thought I would have to pay but right now I need closure and the alternative was to wait 5yrs until youngest D turns 18. We would definately be D by then b/c english law says that the petitioner doesn't need agreement from the respondent once you have been separated 5 yrs and its nearly 3 already. However, he would still have an equal financial concern with regard to house and I don't want to be paying the mortgage all that time just for him to reap the benefit. I've probably chosen (reluctantly) the more expensive route but it will definately be the route that leaves me in control of mine and D13s destiny and not H. God knows I don't want a D and he knows I have remained faithful to my H in every sense. I have nothing to fear come judgement day.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
He said to me awhile ago he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. ? And he loves me very much?!
Which face was he showing to you when he said this Ali? Was it the real him? The sober good side of himself? Or was it the bad side of him, the alcohol side of him talking?
His drinking masks that good part in him from you.
I dont do anything for him? When am I going to start losing weight? He wants to love and feel loved. You dont care about me. You dont get it yet. I feel so lonely. I have talked to you may times and you are never going to get it and show me you love me. Dont get mad and feel sorry for you , feel sorry for me , I am trying and you dont see that. I need you to show me more.........
Were these lines followed by a burp?
I love animals. I love lions...jaguars..cheetahs. Killer whales are cool as are great whites. Although they are gorgeous animals, they don't make great pets. Petting them can lead to limb loss. You can still love something that can hurt you.................
Quote:
Policeman: "OK, Clancy! Take the boys and surround the house!"
Bugs: "Jiggers. The cops. They're BACK!" (Rocky and Mugsy jump back into the stove.)
Policeman: (banging on the door from outside) "All right! Open up! This is the police!"
(Door crashes open. Policeman walks in.)
Policeman: "All right, rabbit, where's Rocky? Where's he hidin'?"
Bugs (rushing to the stove): "He's not in this stove!" (knowing look at camera)
Policeman: "Oh-HO! He's hidin' in that stove, eh?"
Bugs: Now look, would I toin on the gas if he was in there? (Turns on the gas.) (mock )(Turns on the gas.)
Policeman: "Eh, you might, rabbit; you might."
Bugs: "Would I throw a lighted match in there if he was--"
(Oven door bursts open. Rocky and Mugsy run out.)
Mugsy: "Oh, no, ya don't!" (Rocky and Mugsy surround the policeman. Both speak at the same time: following lines are separated for a better understanding of what they're saying next.)
Mugsy: "Take me with you! Don't leave me here! Pleeezzze!"
Rocky: "Take me with you! Don't leave us with that screwy rabbit! I confess! I did it! Arrest me! ARREST ME!"
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
well Happy Anniversary to me. I found a number in my husbands wallet I was taking him his wallet he forgot it at home and I have since found out from the lady who dropped him off he had his hand around her waist and he was sitting practically on top of her.
The first time I confronted him he said he didnt remember and if she gave it to him he didnt know who it was. He was toooooooooooo drunk. And to stop whining he did nothing wrong.
When the lady who dropped him off told me what she saw ( she is my good friends sister) I called him and he said I would never do anything like that.
He either changes for good or I am DONE!
I am waiting to hear from the lady I called her and left my number, I want to hear it straight from her.
I never felt he was cheating but this is too much and I dont care if he was too drunk it isnt an excuse.
I saw the number in his wallet cause he borrows me bank card he lost his and I was putting it in there when I dropped it off. No Name just a huge smiley face and her number.
Happy Anniversary to me.............. :blackeye:
Oh and I am fat?
She is 3 of me I guess! :blink:
I have some decisions to make , right now it is leave....
It nothing love but he did do it. How am I supposed to forgive? He didnt even know how he got home or why his truck wasnt in the drive.. but he was still holding her and that kills me
Darling...I could not live under those circumstances. So please do understand that if you keep going forward with him, you are choosing to live a lifestyle with him that most women could not endure....his drinking and hanging out with other women, even if no hanky-panky, is just way over the top for most people. I hope you know that! I hope you don't think that what you are doing is the same thing as "standing by your man". You already stood by him for the big bomb, and since that time, he appears to want to still have a tiny slice of cake now and then (at least in the form of drunken, forgotten phone numbers slipped into his wallet). Honey - - what is the real reason that you believe you should stick around for this?
