Hey Woog, thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to drop me a line....say hello to K for me will ya?
As stated previously, my goal this week was to get the financials in order, get the house on the market and hire a lawyer. I am scheduled to speak with W in a few minutes regarding lawyer. In order to save some money, we will probably go the mediator route. She is pretty open and i do not see any issues on the financila front. The custody of D7 is another issue. Unfortunatelly we live about 45 minutes apart so joint custody is not an option. W wants to keep that part of the deal "open"...whatever is best for D7. I am going to a private elementary school open house this weekend with D7. I think W and I can pay $2500 each per year to put D7 in a very good school closer to where I live....this way I can keep an eye on her schooling and D7 can spend the weekends with her mom.
Wow! You would get D during the week? How awesome for you...with the way your W was floundering earlier this week I didn't think she'd be ready to talk legal plans with you. Interesting....
Too bad I didn't come up to visit. Would have been fun...
I spoke to her a few minutes ago....she pretty much said she will sign anything (guilt I guess). My W has alot of faults but one of her best qualities is the fact that she is a fighter. She is much tougher on the outside than I am. Even if she is floundering, she will not show it...she once told me (a few weeks ago) that in the past when she made a decision to move in a certain direction, she stuck to it. This is the first time in her life that she has had so much trouble turning the page.
I just picked up D7 at the old house...played frisbee with her and the dog for a while. It's tough going back there. I felt like mowing the lawn and preparing supper.....spoke to W briefly...evrything is moving towards the big D...lawyer has been contacted and all assets have been split upo minus the house and what is in it of course. W also spoke to me earlier...she rambled on about her evening at a fund raiser last night etc etc...at least she is getting a life. meanwhile, i am moping around....oh well better give myselfa kick in the ass and go spend some quality time with D7 (who incidentally was very happy to see me). She seems to be doing quite well...better than the old man i would say.
I am catching up... Things seem to go fast regarding the D. I am sorry. I know we keep teling each other to focus on positives here but dont push yourself too hard. Things have to happen when you are ready. Letting go when you are not, is not letting go really. Stay strong Love K
John, Not sure how to comfort you in this mess. I think what Woong says makes sense ... there's that fine line between the guilt and anger. And in between there's a lot of manipulation ... you may be led to believe because you were like this or did that it drove her to OM, etc. So be careful. My definition of love is made up of a lot of fidelity and commitment, but that's too old fashioned for most people. Do you still go to that cigar bar?
Just got back from the movies with D7 and her new girlfriend...guess what the love interet's name was....you guessed it ....same as my wife's. But i digress...it was nice to see the two little girls have a good time together....and yes i did start sneeking a peak at other women.
Woog, right now i can't even find the map let alone follow it. Thanks as always for your encouragement though. In a starnge way I felt kind of touched that you wrote a couple of lines from NYC.
FB2, i used to buy that bulsh!t about me being the cause of OM...the cause is a lack of moral fiber in these people....you don't jump in somebody ele's arms just because things are not hunky dory at home. Then in my case to add insult to injury continue doing this for a year with a guy in another country???? She is right...i deserve something better....WAY BETTER. By the way, i am also old fashioned.... I am smoking alot of stoogies lately. I do need to start to partake in activities where there are less males (i have to cut down on the stoogies and the golf).
K, at this point i don,t really know how i feel...it comes and goes like waves. Deep down, i know that the person W has become is not a person i want to spend the rest of my life with....hell i don't even know if i want to be friends with her (but there is D7 and i have no choice).....however, i have absolutely no problem whatsoever with with pre bomb or pre mexico W.
So...tommorow weather permitting I will put in an early round of golf with the boys while D7 hangs with her grandma and then make that exchange in a parking lot somewhere.
ONE month to go before our FLA. golfing trip!!!! Something tells me I will not be going to bed early like the other 5 - 6 years prior.
Damn straight we aren't the cause of the OM. I could understand someone having a weak moment and a ONS, but, an ongoing R is pure and simple a selfish person with shaky morals and integrity.
Take up yoga and salsa dancing. That should put you in a target rich environment.
Hang in there John, maybe write your W's name on a handful of balls before going to the driving range and then whack the hell out of them.
