Peicing but Angry and Confused.......HELP !

[native]

This anonymous writing was in a newsletter by Nancy Wasson:

And You Wonder Why It Didn't Last

She married him because he was such a "strong man."
She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male."

He married her because she was so "fragile and cute."
He divorced her because she was so "weak and helpless."

She married him because "he is a good provider."
She divorced him because "all he thinks about is business."

He married her because "she reminds me of my mother."
He divorced her because "she's getting more like her mother every day."

She married him because he was "happy and romantic."
She divorced him because he was "shiftless and fun-loving."

He married her because she was "steady and sensible."
He divorced her because she was "boring and dull."

She married him because he was "the life of the party."
She divorced him because "he's a party boy."

—Anonymous

Nancy goes on to say that "the challenge is, of course, to work on yourself so that you can develop the skills needed to grow and evolve in your marriage. Often, individuals select a romantic partner to "complete them" or to contribute traits they don't feel they have.

In the case of the woman married to the "strong man" who became a "dominating male," for example, she may not see how things could have unfolded differently in the relationship if she had responded differently. If she had faced her fears of male anger and learned appropriate assertiveness skills, she may have found her own "strong woman."

It's all "food for thought." Remember the old saying that when you point a finger at someone else, you've got three other fingers pointing right back at you.

So instead of focusing on how to change your partner, focus on how you can change to become a better partner yourself."