Thanks everyone, Kat, Puppy, H4H, whatdidido, Starshyne, yenko69 for being here for me.
Its so hard, I want to tell W come back I want to hold her again, but I know I can't. This is soo hard, she is not capable of doing the things that would be required of her to reconcile. I know this, W knows that I deserve better than her, I deserve better than she has treated me. It's just a shame because I lover her so much.
Quote:
Whatdidido: She is feeling her choice and feeling all that she has done. TO have done what she did, and not be able to do anything to change it, is a horrible horrible feeling. She didn't correct you when you said the thing about her going back to who she loves, meaning OM. That surprises me. I always thought she would be back.
She is feeling the choices she has made, she knew I would never stand for any A ever. She knows what kind of man I am. No whatdidido, she did not correct me when I said do what you want be with the person you love but leave me alone. She wants to do her own thing, have some fun with the kids every now and then go do what she wants.
Sara, in 2005 we still had 3 kids at home, so W was with them all day. It was very stressful for her and I knew this. So I made every effort to make sure she had time to do what she wanted. Well that caused some problems that we worked through together, we talked and we both worked on our R and things improved. W always wanted more, always pointing out what other people had and we didn't, always stressed out about the kids, always felt trapped.
I'm going to have to set limits, I cannot keep letting her drag me down, I need to move on with my life, Everyone who knows me including my STBX knows I'm a good person, I just hope there is someone out there for me. I need to work on myself and forget about my W (Thats going to be so hard) Why God do I lover her so much.
I will not let her throw me into another tailspin.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees And for the moment you can hardly breathe, Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room? No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... (John Mayer)
W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
