my story

[123snap]

So tonight H came over to mow the lawn, have dinner and see the kids, we also were supposed to discuss stuff he is going to move. No issues with the stuff, he even said he knows this is hard and he is sorry.

The bad part he arrived with attitude, he didn't like what I had proposed for the kids, but instead of letting me know that he was defensive and basically arrived with attitude that I couldn't have it my way, and that I was trying to exclude him, not taking his feelings into consideration. We both agreed that we couldn't make decisions when we were emotional, he mowed, I of course cried during the exchange, and I stopped him mowing to tell him to come in to dinner, at first he wouldn't talk to me because he said he was too mad, that I was unreasonable, I said I didn't make any decisions, and we had to negotiate this, I wasn't just going to say okay what ever you want.... I said that this is very hard for me, he needs to remember that, I think he forgets that sometimes.

We ended talking it over some more, I decided that it would be okay with me if he takes the kids to his parents for a weekend in 2 weeks, I feel like I am letting them go into enemy territory though, I told him that, probably shouldn't have. We are still negotiating an agreement.

We did some other discussions on stuff, I said it is hard for me because he doesn't ask me anything about me, later he said he does care, but isn't going to prop me up anymore. He said I ask him the same stuff over and over, I said maybe I just need to hear things a few times.

Overall not great interaction, We have been separated for a week now, I am slowly getting better, stronger, but still have plenty of room for improvements. I give today a C and add a plus because I think we parted okay, not great but okay. At least not angry so that is good.

I know this will get easier, I hope to get stronger soon, I need to stop worrying and just focus on me!!! Not worry about the future