oh, it comes and goes. i hate this battling with whether my feelings are valid or not. geeso, how much closure does it take?! I'm gonna be drowning in closure!
no wine tonight, which was hard because i made risotto. But i have to edit some stuff. Actually, i'm kind of excited - a woman I work with on a side project is being interviewed for the newshour with jim lehrer. if they use the story, they might use some of my stuff! that'd be a thing to feel good about.
oh, it comes and goes. i hate this battling with whether my feelings are valid or not. geeso, how much closure does it take?! I'm gonna be drowning in closure!
I am the BB slowpoke - so it will definitely be less than 5 years!
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Actually, i'm kind of excited - a woman I work with on a side project is being interviewed for the newshour with jim lehrer. if they use the story, they might use some of my stuff! that'd be a thing to feel good about.
Good luck with that! That is so exciting! When will you know? if they will air your stuff?
Risotto huh? I ate the other half of my TJ three cheese organic pizza w/a glass of wine. I am working...no time to cook tonight...
Hmmm - is it just me or am I being portrayed as the bad guy here? Didn't RMG suggest earlier that this would be the case? She caused me the worst pain I've ever felt and told a judge that she was absolutely sure we were completely incompatible, but she doesn't understand why I don't want to be friends? After the cheating and lying and refusing to talk and being outright cruel, she is sorry that I turn her into a monster?
I don't know. Maybe it's just me but I feel justified in shutting her out of my life. This is what she wanted, right?
Lodo, I know you loved her brother. I can see it in your posts. IMO, she is BCC...they all are. And yes, you're justified in shutting her out. I've always felt that if they make this decision then they should feel the full ramifications of that decision. In other words, "they should not have their cake and eat it to" whether it be financial loss, loss the the family structure, loss of the "best thing that has ever happened to them" they should feel that loss just as we do.
You're gonna be ok. keep moving forward. Good things coming for you buddy..
Lodo, your feelings are natural, and W's actions are script. I don't think you need to get to a point where you feel justified to do things, or feel OK about her feeling pain also.
You need to get to a point where her reactions to the sitch are irrelevant to you, and you do what you need to because it is the best thing for you.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
thanks M & G! I'm moving. Don't regret speaking my mind. I looked at my email again and while she certainly could have misinterpreted it, I feel I just stated why I don't want to see her - because she hurt me a lot, lied, and cheated.
Getting to where our interactions don't affect me is another matter but every day gets a little bit better.
Got into work this AM and she'd left some books in my mailbox that she thought i'd be interested in. See, I really am the bad guy - she is SO above all these negative divorce feelings and detachment issues while I'm so unfriendly. Whatever.
tgif - this day feels like it's dragging on forever. No plans tonight, but i feel like being at home, popping the top off an ice cold beer, and settling down for some mindless entertainment. No writing, no working, no thinking.
My cats brought in an ivy rat last night and I stepped on its headless corpse this morning. Thanks guys! Disgusting ...
Okay, back to work and watching the minute hand circle around the clock face so painfully slowly.
I understand cat culture, but couldn't they just rub against my leg and purr? I mean, stepping on a headless rat at 5:30 in the AM when it's still dark and cold is ..... DISGUSTING!!!
The problem is not that your cats are bringing you presents. It getting up and leaving the house at 5:30 am in the morning!!! That is early. See if you were lazy like me and slept in - your stepping on presents problem would disappear.
Actually in my case, my cats use to have a cat door in the basement so they could come and go as they pleased. Then they starting bringing home presents. Which was tolerable - until they started bringing home live mice, birds and rabbits and dropping them at my feet! After I awhile I got tired of jumping up on chairs and closed out their little door. Now they have a automatic human door opener that opens and closes doors on command... Wonder who rules this household at times...
I see you are feeling the cat love. lol Since I've known you I have found you to be the most self-evaluating person I know. As hard as it seems right now, I think you need to stop thinking and start doing. Have dinner for friends, keep yourself busy with other people. You are alone with your thoughts way too much.
I know you are stressed about work right now too. Don't know any easy way around that except to maybe break it up into small pieces. I feel for you. I think perhaps up until the very end, you didn't think she would do it...just like I didn't think my H would. Well they did and now we have to get past it. These people turned out to not be who we thought they were. They have to live with themselves and their poor reasoning and choices. We do not.
Hugs, lodo. I am going back to bed.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
