Gosh NDS, I got a little dizzy reading that last post.

Can I try to sum up what I THINK you are saying? Then you can set me straight if I'm off the mark.

1. I'm not concerned that I will not survive if our relationship ends.

2. It does make me sad to think of our relationship ending.

3. I'm still thinking that it might be possible that I did too much damage for her to be willing to continue the marriage.

4. I HAVE changed, but I'm still not sure that she believes it will last. I wonder how long it will take her to believe, and if she will choose to end the relationship before she ever DOES start believing.

5. If she does choose to end the marriage, it will hurt and I will be terribly saddened, but I also will survive. I will be grateful that I can live the rest of my life knowing that I finally got it right.


Close to right?

That's how I'm reading/interpreting your words at least.

I wanted to ask:

a) If you KNEW beyond any doubt that it would take 9 more months of your current life together to get her to believe and finally announce that she has changed her mind, are you saying that would be too long? Or are you just expressing your frustration that you've been doing so well for the past 6 months and she's not offering the WORDS that let you off the hook?

b) If you truly KNOW that you will survive and still manage to live a good life EVEN IF she chooses to end the marriage, why all the drama about where things stand now?


And finally, a comment from a DB standpoint.

I find it ironic that you are waiting for WORDS. One of the first mantras that we share with newcomers to this site is to put little stock in words (ours OR theirs) and focus instead more on actions (ours AND theirs).

Your wife is SHOWING you, in so many different ways, that she loves you and is moved by your changes.

In the past couple of weeks you have shared numerous incidents where there is such a clear softening in her towards you. She really is showing you that she is beginning to believe in the new NDS.

You're waiting for the words.

And they are likely to be the last part to come.


Just for reference...

When you fall in love and begin to have that desire to join your life with another person, the very LAST thing that you do is say your vows to each other.

The very LAST thing.


The glass is more than half full...


Blessings,

Bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."