to be afraid of : expect with alarm <fear the worst>
Afraid =
filled with fear or apprehension
filled with concern or regret over an unwanted situation.
having a dislike for something
OK.. we have defined the words.
"You know, I am not so sure that I would call it fear anymore. I suppose in the long run I am afraid of losing her."
If we apply the "words" the way they were intended.. your statement looks like this.
"You know, I am not so sure that I would call it to be afraid of : expect with alarm anymore. I suppose in the long run I am filled with concern or regret over an unwanted situation of losing her."
All I want to point out is.. count the I's
I got 4. That relates to you personally.
It implies.. to feel fear in (oneself)
Either way.. you are still scared of losing her. No matter how close she is.
Next...
"I am filled with fear or apprehension that she will always remember the bad times and that I will not have a chance to make up for what I have done...treat her right and give her the life she deserves....filled with concern or regret over an unwanted situation that deep down she really just does not like me.....that when she looks into my eyes she sees bad, not good."
So.. what you are saying is.. you need to stop the bad times.. and make up for what you have done. Treat her right and give her the life she deserves.
At the same time you need to understand that deep down she really just does like me.....that when she looks into my eyes she sees good.
I can get on board with that. I expect you to do just that.
Next...
"Those are to be afraid of : expect with alarm I have, ....and the having a dislike for something that the day never comes and we start planning our future together again....that this dance just goes on and on for another 6 months."
As long as you are dancing like this.. are you happy? Do you fear the "What If"?
Next....
"I have not done all the things I promised myself I would do over the last few months."
What have you not done?
"But I know one thing..I was sincere in my efforts. She may not know my changes are real, but I do. She may not think they will last but I do."
Prove it. Right here right now.. Prove it.
"If she told me tonight she was done, I would bow out gracefully and thank her sincerely for the last 6 months, but I think the DBing would be over....I would be sad and I would be hurt, but I would not be filled with fear or apprehension."
Right there.. is your movement. Where did you come from.. to what you are now. Silly thing about it.. people that can't see you... can "see" it.
Open your eyes.. and stop being afraid.
From what you just wrote.. you have nothing to loose.
Danielson.. where have you been?
Lucky Cricket!
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
