I'll just leave you with this: you may have had issues in the marriage, but her adultery will have been the break point. She needs to own that, and so do you. 6-12 months of honest reconciliation effort, free from contact with OM, and the playing field becomes level adn equal again.
But it's far from that now. This is HER mess, and SHE will be responsible for the demise of the marriage.
