Another one for me

[sandycay]

Jen, this is great news! What about a 180...try not to divulge to much about what you are doing till it's done. I will never forget calling my husband and telling him in Feb.

M: Hey, I quit my job today (I worked as a preschool teacher)
H: WHAT?
M: Yea, remember last week (in your fog) when I said I would need to go back to school so I can get a different job so I can support myself? You said to do it and that it sounded great and that you would support me while I did that because it would be a better life for the kids and me.....
H: (hesitating) Yea
M: Well, I enrolled in college..it will take me about 4 years to get the degree I want as I have to take all math and sciences over because it's been more than 10 years since I took it in college. I can enroll in Nursing School in 2 years.
H: (real hesitation now) Yea
M: Well, I need about $1400 to get started on the semester and it starts in two weeks. I am so excited and you are so generous to let me do this...thank you so much....I really appreciate it....I would have never done this without this push.
H: (stammering now) uumm yea, that's a good idea...we should have done this a long time ago. We've talked about it for years.
(Notice he was saying we now, I kept saying I...little things)
M: Yea, well whatever what's been done is done and however this goes this is such a positive thing for me and I am so excited. Talk to You Later. Click

I WAS SCARED OUT OF MIND TO GO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT

I will tell you at this point in the S I had not eaten one bite of food in over 4 weeks and lost 14 lbs in 13 days by my dr.s scale. I was sleeping an average of 1.5 hours a night and messed up pretty bad...I was having panic attacks for the first time but I started doing 180's and started DBing because that was the first conversation we had that he seemed not in control of and perplexed by my behavior. I saw the cheeseless tunnels I had been going thru at that point and it wasn't working anymore. I kept throwing curvballs like that at him.....one weekend he called on a SAt. to see the kids, of course, couldn't make those plans the night before so I told him

M: Oh we are going hiking up in the Olympic mountains today. There's a hike I've been wanting to do.
H: Who are you going with?
M: Oh I'm just taking the kids alone because it's such a good time to have conversation with them as there are no other distractions...you know how they are.
H: (quietly)Yea
M: Alrighty I'll have the kids call you when we get back
H: Do you want me to go with you?
M: (nonchalantly) uumm sure if you want that would be great...the kids would like that very much.
H: I don't want to intrude on your time with them
M: Oh, I see them all the time so it's no intrusion today at all

Note: I was scared shitless to go walking in the mountains here alone in WA with my kids...what with the bears, mountain lions, and freaks.....but you know what? I was going to do something outside of my comfort zone but I was really happy that he went, but I was going either way. I stopped asking him to do stuff and he started asking to go with us. That's when you know your on the right tunnel....baby steps and I will say hind sight is 20/20

I never can figure out how to get across the point I am trying to make but the 180's are not for them...they are for you.

If it makes you uncomfortable as hell or feeling scared it's a 180 and your on the right track. Talk about a mental boost even if you fail the 180 you took a risk and it feels great...and man if you succeed the feeling is the best thing ever.