Close encounters of the MLC kind

[hoosiermama]

Thanks, Theo. I know all that stuff, I was just feeling crappy about it. It has passed.

As for what you have learned--wow. WOW. I could say just about the same things. It doesn't feel like sleepwalking when you're doing it. It feels like you're dancing as fast as you can, just keeping your head above water to get everything accomplished and meeting everyone else's needs. I was pretty passionate about a few things, but there are additional things I should have been passionate about as well. But your last sentence:

But no one ever really knew me.

That is me to the extreme. I do a lot for a lot of people. But no one knows who I am. I had a quote on my bulletin board at my church office (from whom I don't remember)that said "it is the spirit we have, not the work we do, which makes us important to the people around us." I'm not sure I have ever learned to "fix" this. It's absolutely unconscious. And probably comes from needing to be invisible in my family of origin to escape abuse, blah blah blah. I think in my last job people "got me," and I finally learned to "be" as well as "do." But still, no one really knows me. H used to, but hasn't for years and seems to have forgotten who I am.