W called today, was cleaning out her mothers stuff and found a letter addressed to the both of us from 2005 where MIL recounts conversation with our neighbor about how my W was verbally abusive to the children, how W did what she wanted going out all the time, etc.

W asked if neighbor told me the same stuff, I said no, except on one occasion. Told W that I understand how kids can stress you out to the point you say something you regret.

Told W neighbor once said W met a man outside our house and was telling the kids to stay inside, I let W know that I requested that the neighbor stop telling me stuff like this because all it did was upset me - neighbor no longer tells me stuff she saw

W was crying, said several times that she was sorry, that I didn't deserve all this.

I said, what is done is done, sorry doesn't help, I just want to move on with my life. Told W I was over the anger but I still hurt and I don't know when that will end.

W said you know how I feel, I don't have to say it.

I knew she was referring to the I love you speech last week,

I said what your sorry for what you did ??? (long pause) I said, I want you out of my life as much as possible and I want to move on with my life

W said we had a great conversation last week
again referring to the I love you speech,

I told her it made me depressed and that she should leave me alone.

I said do what you want be with the person you love but leave me alone, I want you out of my life as much as possible.

W said she would always be their for me and the kids and I said nothing,

W said she would talk to me later.

I said OK

WOW

When you're dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees And for the moment you can hardly breathe, Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room? No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... (John Mayer)

W41
M10.75 years
D9, D6, D6, S5
OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me
WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08
W files for D 07/18/08
Date I'll forgive W for A = never