Well...talked with him today and apparently he was offered that job again so he'll be taking it and we'll have to work out how to split weekends. Gosh...this never ends!
Anyway, shouldn't have, but got into some talk about the past again. I asked him why the counselor had told him to write a letter to me...he reiterated that it was to concentrate on the good in me and get over his anger and hate. I asked him if he was supposed to give it to me or burn it. He said the counselor told him it was up to him. We got on the subject of how it bothers him that I said he left his family when, in his mind, he didn't have a choice. Said he threw himself at me for years and couldn't do it anymore. I told him I will never understand why he couldn't have gone to counseling. He said "I didn't want to at the time...I wasn't ready". So I asked him if he regretted not going to counseling he said "i don't know". I then asked him if he was relieved that I had given up on persuing him. He said "I don't know if I'm relieved...I just thought it would make it easier because we wouldn't fight anymore". I said you think me holding out hope for our R is what caused our fighting? He said "kind of...because I had to be careful about everything I said to you". So I asked again, but are you relieved...again he said "i don't know".
I am so confused right now. I'm not sure what to do....
