letting go

[artteach]

I have been really giving into to the hopelessness feelings lately. The "why bother with it anymore, I am begining to not even care what he does anymore" feelings. My church's website emails a scricpture every morning to members and todays was all about that, not giving in to those kinds of feelings and that kind of stuff, kind of like fate it trying to let me know to hang on for a little while longer. Did not call H today at all, he called me twice though. Was not supposed to work tonight, but now he is, which is good because we despretely need the money, but it would have been nice for the kids to spend a little time with him. Oh well. Taking things day by day, decided not to confront him about the calls face to face and will write it down instead. this way he cant promise me something and then I just get hurt. Not sure when I will give it to him but I at least I am thinking about what to do.