I know I need to try. I really do. I am just someone who really likes to have a plan, and that is something I don't have right now and everything that I thought was solid in my life is gone. I am sure my H has made his mind up already, and I am so disappointed.
I was on an adventure in Europe with my best friend and instead it leads to this. I know the city here is pretty and so is the architecture. I do go out and walk every weekend, and I have seen it all by now. I just need some security and stability and I don't even mean my M or my H though those would be nice too. I mean a place to live, and an idea about which country I am going to be in in the next 6 months.
I know that I'm being negative, but I was so positive for the last 2 weeks, and this is what happened. I feel angry and let down. I convinced myself a miracle was going to happen. I didn't know what exactly, but believed it would be positive. I was right, something big did happen. It was just not positive.
Sorry to be such a downer, and I know everyone is right for me to focus on me, but part of that is buying a plane ticket within the next 2 weeks and I don't know for what date etc. I am not sure how long I can go on waiting for a positive sign or a flash of inspiration...
Well I will try and watch the Secret now. It is possible that this will make me feel better. I really do believe in this kind of thing. It is a matter of training my mind to focus on the positives. I just feel burned right now is all...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
