ITH: Hostility? Have you read my posts??? LOL At six months, H and I were in the same place you and your H are at right now.

I can't tell you what started him talking to me. Maybe it was the praying. I think that helped, because it gave me an outlet so that I was not bugging him as much, but at the same time, I was still working on my marriage. I didn't go dark, but went dim. It did not work right away. It took alot of time. And even now, I have to be careful.

I think it is about finding your center. Finding what works for you to make you feel better. I think the thing we do is depend on our S's to make us better. H started talking more to me when I was okay with myself. That is a powerful attraction.

I think that is why DBing is really about working on you. The more okay you are with yourself, the happier you are in your own skin, the more attractive that is. I have gotten to a place where I still miss H, but my entire life does not revolve around his thoughts. I have discovered that being good to myself, and enjoying my life with or without him has two pluses: I know I can go on without him. I don't want to, but I can. It has also made him more comfortable with me. He talks to me about all kinds of stuff now. So I think by not worrying so much about your H, and really starting to think about you, it does work.

Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..