Hi Friends:

Life is good. I am taking it a little less seriously. And I am lowering my expectations of myself.

I will confess that I did keep busy for 5 years post-D. Part of it was career growth and perhaps part of it was burying myself in something/anything to feel like my life had direction again.

And I managed to beautifully avoid single men or apply an R (avoidance) rule to anyone that happened to be available. Lately I have been feeling a desire to date - to have a little fun. I am a little bummed that there is this really fun fundraiser coming up for the humane society - and I would love to go with a date - but really have no idea where to find one. That was not a problem the last time I was single. This is a change for me - for a long time I just didn't want to date.

And I know a big part of the problem is living in the most married suburb of its size in the country - yes that is US census data. It is routine ranked as the best place to raise kids, best place to retire - but NOT the best place to be single.

And I am not into Internet dating - I know it works for a lot of people - but that is just not me.

Sometimes I think my requirements are too high. I want someone that is physically attractive to me. And I need someone that engages me and challenges me - usually I am the one that is always engaging other people - at work or when I go out. And I am into the power couple thing. There are challenges - but the pros outweigh the cons.

I know the cougar thing is in now. But I do not want someone much younger. I know my C tried to pry my dating block open by not allowing me to run away from young TJ man. He is sweet - but he is a boy. He simply does not have the life experience of someone that is older. I haven't talked to my C in months - I will have to call him to tell him he is wrong! I am just kidding - I know what he was trying to do - he forbid me to run away unless I got to know enough about young TJ man to make a decision. He wants me to not jump ahead to an LTR in my head and give a man a chance instead of deciding all the reasons why he is all wrong in my head by myself and walking away. All this became clearer to me during discussions on this BB and discussions during my huricanne vacation...

Life is good! I feel like I am in a place in my life where I can open myself to taking a risk when it comes to men. This is not like a M where so much of your life goes into disarray when it ends. The worst that can happen is that I will get hurt, post a whole bunch of "what is wrong with me posts" and eat lots of ice cream - and then move on....

I cannot see a path yet with respect to dating... I can see a goalpost in the fog - as in I want to date again. I would like a little romance and fun in my life. I want to do that happy dance when someone I am interested in asks me out - or someone I ask out says yes. I think I will start by being asked out - that whole part of working up the nerve to ask someone out is very stressful! No idea how men do this all the time!

take care,
AG