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cagzmom Offline OP
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Quote:
Woman, celebrate the fact that you have made it this far and look at how much of your life is ahead of you to live happily and healthily?


Decided that TODAY. TODAY is new and FRESH. Sure wish I could stay in this mindset more....

Quote:
But just try to view things through their distorted glasses a bit. When they haven't done the hard core self work, how can they possibly see YOU differently when they haven't changed?


That is a GREAT way to look at the truth of a marriage break up. if I look through his eyes...which is REALLY hard as everyone knows.. ok ok. I dont like his looking through his casue they are so messed up -- but ok.

Quote:
Once you cease the stinkin' thinkin' things are going to seem lighter and happier.


Ok my head hurts- that was a pretty big well deserved 2x4. =)

Quote:

Now get on with celebrating your birthday!


My d12 had made a video with her best friend for me BEFORE my birthday - it was so funny and cute and wonderful. It was a skit where she pretends she doesnt know it is my bday..it was funny. Then she sang me a song that she "wrote" just for me. It was seriosully the best present EVER!!

Oh and what did I do for me? I ate almost a pan of brownies HA!! Seriouslly!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE BROWNIES! Got a FREE movie from Hollywood Video because it was my birthday AND WE WATCHED it!! AND went to Quedoba with d12 - and s19 called me TWICE!! \:\)

So after I got up and got going and stopped thinking I had a good day!!


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


Joined: Apr 2007
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Happy belated Birthday! Sorry I missed it yesterday.

What's Quedoba? Is that a restaurant? What a special gift your daughter gave you. You've gotta make sure you find some way to permanently record that! Burn it on a CD or DVD so you'll always be able to treasure it.

Brownies ARE yummy, but pecan pie rules. My daughter made me a pecan pie for my birthday, and I ate the whole thing by myself! (Not all at once!)


Me:40, xH:41
M:19 T:21
D14, S10, D6
IDLYA bomb:12/22/06
OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06
H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07
D papers served 6/07
D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
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cagzmom Offline OP
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Brownies are my friend.

It is friday - Cool thing going on...I am numb again with bouts of happiness --- so wierd!!

Have a friend praying for me that my sleep would be sound so my body and mind can recover from the exhaustion of my own experience. AND LET ME TELL YOU GOD IS HEARING her prayer!!

I have been asking God to help me see xh for who he is, not who he was. So wierd. Anyway I am believing for that...for my heart for my healing...so I can continue to move forward.

I was reading IMLIN's post about what she has learned. Everything about this MLC is so "familiar" so the same. And she grew and has grown. I guess what I really loved most about her post (AND SO MANY OTHERS) is they GROW.

Being the LBS puts us in a place where we have to either buck up and change OR we can stay put and not grow. Not show our kids strength - but that is NOT WHO I WANT TO BE.

So today I am thankful for my wierd numbness and the strange smile that is on my face.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


Joined: Dec 2006
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Hey Cagz....Im glad you at least have a strange smile on your face!

Maybe i need to pray and ask God to show me the same thing....I have to keep reminding myself that my H is not a man I would want to be with. I pray God can change him, but Im not sure my H will ever listen.

I have grown. We all have to some level. I hope you have a great weekend! Keep Smiling!!


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
kissak #1604633 09/26/08 04:30 PM
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Happy Friday, ladies!

Cagz--great post! Keep going.

Kissack--
Quote:
I pray God can change him, but Im not sure my H will ever listen.


A very wise spiritual leader once told me that God will never listen to requests such as this, because the request is directed toward another human being to carry out your will. This person suggested I pray for God to change what is in MY heart and promised me if the desire to change is there and I'm willing to listen, my prayer will be granted. If your H prays for the same, then you'll see His work in progress.

When I'm stuck in a difficult relationship (personal or business), I pray for this. So far, it's always come to fruition.

Have a great weekend!

\:\) Betsey


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
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cagzmom Offline OP
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Betsey i was thinking the same thing.
Kissak- my prayer is more for ME to see him different. He is who he is...I need to see it. Do I have prayed for him that God will get him -- and that God will continue to pursue him...but thats all I have anymore.

that is what i want is for GOD to change what is in ME and it has to be Him because my self doesn't want it to change...so it is going to have to be Him in me.

pretty good day. =) i like that.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
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Hi Cagz,

Just caught up with your post. My prayers vary everyday. Sometimes I want ex back, sometimes I don't. This is such a roller coaster.

You sound good. Tell me what else is new??? Read any good books lately. Are you exercising?


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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cagzmom Offline OP
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Hey T- not much here.

I am with you that my prayers change..however lately I have been really trying to focus on the ME in teh prayer and not xh. I do pray for him -- how can I not? you know? he is seeking things that can not be fulfilled the way he is trying-- makes me sad. but I can't change or even help him.

funny to have you say I sound good. let me tell you - my birthday was NOT a good day....

Books? Just got done rereading "when he leaves.." I saw things so much differently this time. I have always read a great book called "The Shack" that one is about a guy who "meets God" in a shack....really really good read!! Also been heading back into the BIBLE. Been reading it all along, but spending some more time there.

Found out that there is a organization here for all sorts of get togethers..from outdoor stuff to book clubs all different ideas. I am thinking about joining..but it woudl be huge for me cause I would have to go places alone...it also cost a little bit of money and since it is a bit sparce right nwo I am holding off...but it is somethign I am thinking about. Sure do miss my friday night softball games.

Oh the BEST thing in the world happened. S19 surprised me by coming home this weekend. He and d12 planned it and he showed up at my work and surprised me!! IT MADE MY WEEKEND absolutely wonderful!! d12 gave up her sunday with her dad to be with him..... again the stupid reprocussions of the dog gone divorce!!

I am moving ahead. As I have said before my door is closed, but i am looking through the peep hole. I am seeing him through different eyes- he doesn't even physically look like himself..so weird.

Well need to go..ah yes - forgot to tell you i have come back from teh dead with my running!! SO glad!! But i have to get up early early to go...so bed time comes very wanted here!


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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Underdog:

When you are married, it is proper to pray for your spouse, ask God to intervene to soften their hardened hearts, show/reveal to them right from wrong and to pray for their salvation.

We are to pray for our spouses, our kids, etc.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
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cagzmom Offline OP
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midwestern girl - i think it is always ok to pray that. the difference is our prayer needs ot NOT focus on GOD changing them but that God will do a owrk in us. GOD will NOT change the will of someone....I have had a really hard time with that..but it is teh truth. He will always pursue - He will always love- He will always bring truth...but it is the Prodigal who has to decide in him/herself that THEY are willinig to say "Ok God I am yours.."

I still want to be the miracle. I still want to believe that my xh will choose to make the hardest choice in his life and that is to face all the garbage that is inside of him.....Believe me I do. AND I STRONGLY believe that God desires for our families to be put back together...but I also believe that God wants for us, the LBS to move forward in HIS might.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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