Not much change. I have gotten H's mom into the Hospice program and she was grateful for that as she doesn't want a nursing home but does understand that we can not do it alone. Doctor said that it won't be long now.
H is still in his own screwed up world. He had told OW hopeful at work that if she didn't start talking to him that the phone terrorist's were going to win.( she said he was kind of laughing when he said it) OW was confused but once she figured out that he was talking about the person that calls me, she told him that if she had decided to talk to him that they would have more reason to call and hurt my feelings and she didn't want to do that. The thing H doesn't get is that it isn't about the phone calls it's about the fact that H makes her uncomfortable and she doesn't want him to get the wrong idea.
What I thought about last night is what if she decided to talk to him again, he knows I don't want that but, keeps right on trying and I know he wouldn't tell me that they were in friend status again. To me that is still infidelity. AM I wrong?
I know right now that he hasn't much of a clue about what is the right and wrong thing to do (maybe he does but still can't help what he does because he is not looking at the big picture only what he wants then). OW thinks he may be trying to get back to the way things were in the begining so that he can pretend nothing ever happened and so he doesn't have to work through all of this. She might have a point.
I know I feel pretty stressed right now with all that is going on and I need to find a happy medium.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
