That is really positive news about your h going to see the doctor for a referral. I think you are making so much progress in making it 'safe' for your h to talk to you again. It does seem he is very confused and that is also very hard on you.
Personally I wouldn't beat yourself up for the BMF incident. I think you are doing incredibly well under very trying circumstances and sometimes we all make decisions that in retrospect we may look at differently. Also alcohol sometimes clouds our judgment, not an excuse maybe but a contributor.
