Another one joins the flock (III)

[Mike85]

Well, W called last night to ask me to bring the kids to her place (instead of her stopping by on the way home to pick them up). She briefly mentioned that she got the flowers, said they were beautiful, thanked me, but said they were "unnecessary" (?!?). I basically told her that she knows how I feel. Then we chatted for a while and nicely about stuff involving the kids. I could hear OM in the background. I couldn't help but wonder how much of our conversation was stymied by his being nearby.

When I dropped the kids off, the kids each gave me big hugs and kisses to say goodnight. The kids noticed that W's car wasn't in the driveway, and W told them that her car was still at work (meaning that she and OM came home together in his car).

W gave me a big hug. I tried thinking of something profound to say regarding the flowers and my card, but it was hard, especially with the kids being hyper around us. I basically just gave a cheerful goodbye and took off.

I was pretty bummed on the drive home. W's attitude about the flowers and card seemed to be one of polite indifference. That hurt.

This morning, I took a different perspective - first off, OM's being nearby during our call and driving home with W probably had some impact on W's response (undoubtably, OM must have seen the flowers), secondly, at least W's response was not negative and didn't provoke a defensive, anti-reconciliation discussion, and thirdly, I *am* glad that I decided to acknowledge our wedding anniversary the way that I did. Along with my rescuing her last month after OM's abandoning her to go on a drunken bender, my decision is something that is going to stick in her mind. She knows how I feel, that I haven't given up, and that I am here.

My actual anniversary is Friday, and I fortuitously have a therapist appointment that day. And having it be homecoming for both my new school district and my college guarantees that I'll have my focus diverted on happy matters. I may have several Fraternity Brothers crashing at (not into) my house this weekend.