Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate all the kind words and support.
I am crushed, but I know I'll be able to rebound. I really don't have a choice. How can I be strong for my D if I'm not strong for myself? The simple answer is I can't, so I have to get out of this as quickly as I can.
I get D from Friday after school until Sunday at 5 pm, so I'll be so happy to see her. I may end up holding her a little bit tighter than normal this weekend, however.
W sent me a snotty e-mail this morning chastising me for being 20 minutes late to pick up D last Friday. It is the 2nd time I've picked her up from school and I left my school at the same time both times. The 1st time I was a few minutes early and the 2nd I was late. Hey, I'm trying to figure things out as to when to leave, etc., but of course, W cuts me ZERO slack.
W also said that D feels like I've forgotten her when I'm late. I wonder if W is helping to fuel these feelings? I'm sure she's not giving me any support.
So, who knows? Maybe W will chill out a bit now that she's "won" the custody battle. I doubt it. It really makes no sense b/c the evaluator said he was concerned W would make things difficult for me to see D and interact w/ her and yet he still gives her primary custody. I really don't get it.
His report said he only recommends joint custody if both parents get along reasonably well and it is obvious that W and I don't get along, so he can't in good conscious recommend 50/50. The problem here is that W is the one causing all the friction, not me. I'm taking the high road and she's the one who's angry, condescending, and controlling. I really don't get it and I just can't see the fairness of this whole process.
I was under the distinct impression that unless I could be proven to be an unfit father, I'd get 50/50. No where in the report did it say I was unfit, yet, I'm out in the cold.
I exercised tonight then burst into tears when I got home. I had a good, loud, long cry and it helped. I'm still so incredibly saddened by all this, but I do realize that now I have to make the most of whatever little time I get w/ my baby. That is really all I can do. Maybe in time, she'll come to see how I feel about her and she'll know how hard I tried for her.
My heart is very heavy tonight. I'm going to try and get some sleep. I'll talk to you all tomorrow. Thank you again my friends for being there for me.
