But she wasn't there for me either. She never made me feel loved, or special, and I deserve that. We all deserve that.
Are you re-writing history in your own mind? Believe me, once you have gotten to a certain point, you become like the WAS and start to forget the good times. You focus on only the bad subconciously to help yourself get over the failure of the marriage. I have gotten to the point where I look back and say to myself that she was a terrible wife. But if I really think back, it was only the second half of the marriage where she started fumbling the ball. I have forgotten the first half almost and that is worrisome a bit.
Originally Posted By: lodo
In the meantime, I face months of trying to make myself feel better about being alone. It'll be fine. I'm in a great place. I wish I had more friends - but that's a guy thing. I'll start getting involved again.
Have you looked throught the meetup.com groups where you live to see if anything strikes a new interest. I just read that Gypsy found out that she can sing quite well. Maybe lodo has a hidden talent just waiting to be discovered.
Hey Handsome !! I want to see that video too ! I never knew you were the leopard print bathrobe kinda guy. Be still my heart. What exactly did Kerry mean when he said "put IT out in public" ?? Is there more to this story ??
Nice pontificating by the way ! I was just getting into it, then busted up at Kerry's comment too.
I've heard "real" men don't need a knife, they chew their arm off when it's trapped under a boulder.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Here is the website that I use to pick the volunteer opportunities I want to do. You just go to the calendar & see what they need. Then you just sign up with your name, email address & phone #. That's it!! No long forms, no long commitment. You do what you want when you want. Then the leader of the opportunity sends you an email with specific details. Even if you cancel last minute there is no big deal but the sooner you let them know the better. They just appreciate any help they can get.
Ah yes Wikipedia now that's a creditble source for you. First thing these kids are taught today is that Wikipedia is no Bible of truth and are cautioned from taking the info and using it as such.
First off Shiraz and Syrah are both from the same grape but they can be vastly different in the heaviness of flavor. No, they are not the same. Just to make sure I asked my boss who is a wine officienado and since he is the one who introduced it to me I feel confident that he is a credible source. Do a tasting for yourself.
Sigh...we don't have places like that to play with boomerangs near Chicago...
Doesn't Lake Michigan freeze over?
I am not sure... I embraced cold weather in Vermont and learned to ski - have never learned to ice skate. Truth be told - it is my own fault - I have never really embraced the midwest - spend more time complaining... I have always lived near oceans and/or mountains before I moved here.
I am so excited - I just figured out how to do embedded quotes!
shiraz, shyrah, syrah ... whatever. I like the bit of spiciness.
Actually, a tasting is a good idea. I've gone to one before and it was really interesting to have someone who is knowledgeable lead you through the subtleties of tasting wine. I could probably do with a refresher course.
Slowly taking control of things again. Email from XW last night - there's a retreat at work (we work in the same place) and she asked if I wanted her to stay away.
I wrote back and said we're both adults and it was as important for her to be there as for me to be there. I then said that I was sorry I couldn't be around her, but I felt hurt by her unwillingness to do anything to reconnect even when she was in turmoil about ending things, that I felt hurt by her asking me to wait while she started a relationship with someone else, and that I felt hurt that she portrayed our 12 years together as a bad mistake she made because she was young and naive. I then said I realized I wasn't perfect and had a lot to learn and that she is who she is and that she'd probably never be patient or understanding in the way I needed. And that was okay - I was sorry we couldn't give each other what was needed.
I ended by telling her I still very much cared for her, I had made a commitment that was hard to cast aside, but with time and distance I'd be able to remove her from my innermost self. I can handle business interactions with her and be cordial, but friendship is based on trust, respect, and companionship and I've begun questioning whether we ever had those things. It was hard for me seeing ever regaining that and being friends. I ended by saying that, with time, we'd move to a place where we'd forgotten we ever had an intimate relationship.
So, I don't know. Maybe I feel too much the victim, but I'd never explicitly said those things and it felt good to do so. Our relationship really has faded in my mind, at least, compared to where I was at a few months ago. It's creating the new memories and feeling filled with positive energy that seems hit-or-miss right now.
But time will do wonders. The last thing I probably need is another self-help book, but I picked up Dr. Phil's Self Matters a while ago. I don't have much time for it, but I've been thinking through some of the exercises and it has helped with the self-esteem. I'm going to keep concentrating on that - leave the rest behind.
Would it be possible to ask XW to stay away from the area where you work? Or do your areas overlap to where it is impossible to avoid seeing each other?
I asked The X to stay away from my suburb b/c I didn't want to bump into him and he has honored my request. We didn't have any kids - so really there was absolutely no reason for me to ever see him again.
As for workplace talk - your D will become yesterday's news in a few weeks. D's are unfortunately so common these days that it rarely stays a hot topic of conversation in social circles at work.
If anything - you may suddenly find attractive single women finding excuses to stop by your office! When an attractive intelligent man becomes available - especially one that carry off leopard print robes with style and pannash - well that gossip spreads like widefire!
And I wanted to mention - I do read your responses to some of the questions I ask - sometimes it is hard for me to gauge in a cyber medium whether you want to talk about it or let it sit - so I let it go. I just wanted to let you know that I am not ignoring your responses.
Happy paper writing! I am going to try and do a little bit of mind numbing writing myself today.
I embraced cold weather in Vermont and learned to ski - have never learned to ice skate. Truth be told - it is my own fault - I have never really embraced the midwest - spend more time complaining... 
I have always lived near oceans and/or mountains before I moved here. 