I don't know how to tell you this.. but.. uhh.. I don't think he was talkin'.
I'm not being selective in who I strike a conversation with. After 26 years of being with him, talking to other men is very different. I'm learning to let go of the protective shield to engage with other guys.
Of course, my next problem is.. that with the sexual abuse, my trigger response to a guy being nice to me is that it should become sexual. In my twenties I didn't know how to handle that, somehow thinking that was 'normal'. Now it's time to learn how to just 'be' without getting sucked into that twisted line of thinking.
Very very strange... and it requires a lot a lot of trust. I mean, how many guys would respect me learning my boundaries when sex could be 'that' close? I think that's another one of the reasons I keep the weight packed on.
