WAW Won't Communicate At All

[cotoffgard]

seaglass71
First bit of advice is for you to stop panicking and calm yourself down. No great decisions have been made when you're highly emotional.

You need to stop the chase. The more you appear to her as pursuing, (writing letters, pleading, begging, etc.) the more she'll distance herself from you.

Do not involve other people in your situation...not even your friends and family. They mean you well, but they're more apt to be protective of you and your feelings which will most likely counter your DB'ing efforts. Case in point, look at what your FIL is doing; don't let your family and friends do the same. Also, that "other husband" calling your W wasn't a good move, IMO, so no more other people running interference for you.

Lump your meddling FIL and so called "mutual friends" as an extension of your wife. Whatever you say or telegraph to them will undoubtedly reach her, so play it safe.

Even though she ("they") filed divorce, you still have time, believe it or not. Use that time wisely and work on your issues and bettering yourself. You can't control her (you never could), so direct that energy to healing yourself.

I could prattle on and on, but get yourself Divorce Remedy, if you haven't already done so, and read it cover-to-cover. When you're done with that, then read Divorce Busting. As great as a resource this board is, it's better to have a good DR/DB foundation when reading the threads here so things will click a lot faster.

Oh, and one last thing...buckle up. It's going to be a long and bumpy ride. You're on her time now. She's going to call the shots when she feels it's time, so detach yourself as best as you can from the whole sordid ordeal.

I haven't had any meaningful correspondence with my W for over a month, so believe me when I say that silence will be undoubtedly deafening the first few weeks, but it'll be drowned out soon enough by your positive mental attitude...if you consistently work on it.

Keep your chin up! I'll be checking in on you from time to time to see how things are going.