Another one bites the dust

[No Longer BH]

So, STBXH walks in and I walk out. I get home and say hi and continue to walk to the other room. He walks over and wants to tell me something...something small that I dont even remember. I am poltie and short. He then says "Are you mad at me? You are like a rollercoaster with your moods."

I say "No, just trying to let you go and get you out of my life. I am just trying to detach from you so I can move on. When you act like my friend you keep me attached and that hurts. You are not my friend."

He said, "I have not been acting like your friend...." Um, yes you have. Anyway I just ended it by saying that I was letting go and moving on. The last thing he said was "Interesting theory. Well, bye then." and then walked out the door on his own. This is the email I sent to him. Part of me did not want to send it because it means closing the door, but that part of me is the broken co-dependant part. I have to close the door for me. I have to move on for me. I have to get used to the idea that I am going to be a divorce single woman and it is ok because it is not my fault. He did it to me, and he will do it to others.

So, what do you think about what I sent to him?

MY EMAIL:

No, I am not mad and harbor no anger towards you anymore....I am working on changing my focus from a life with you to a life without you. Sitting ALONE in the Dr's office wondering if I was to recieve a death sentence or not woke me up to the reality of so many things. First, I still care about you. This is not healthy for me. You chose to move on and I am trying to move on as well. I can not do that with you constantly in my life. So, I am letting you go, changing my focus and working at cultivating other relationships. I can not have you any where near me anymore. You have made a new life and so have I. There is no longer anything for us to talk about except our son. I am not trying to be mean or punish you. This really has nothing to do with you. I am trying to establish appropriate boundaries so that I can live in the most peacful way. If I thought that there was even the slightest chance that we might work things out then I would hold on, but you have made it very clear that this is not the path you ever want to try again. Therefore I am letting go. Me letting go means that I have to get to a point where I am indifferent towards you. I am not there yet, almost, but not quite. Until I am indeffernt I do not want you in my life anymore. Again, STBXH, this has NOTHING to do with hurt or anger, just me trying to find peace in my life. This is about me being able to give to those who want me instead of focusing on those who dont. You dont need to reply to this email because I believe I already know what you would say. There is nothing left to say. You have your path, I have mine. Like I have always said, I do wish you happiness. Maybe one day we can be friends, but I am not detached enough from "us" yet for it to happen right now.

Good luck with everything you do in your future.